The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Board Game: NECA’s official Nightmare Before Christmas game chucks you into the festive world usually inhabited by the Grinch. It’s not joyous, but what do you expect when the first mission is kidnapping Santa?
Why It’s No Fun: Nixing the choice of one turn-maker, here you’ve dice and a spinner. That’s two ways to maximise the random nature of the game which is out to depress you at every stage. Get caught in Oogie Boogie’s lair? You’ll spend the rest of the game trying to get out with the spinner offering up a slim chance of that ever happening.
Worst Detail: An ultra glossy board onto which your pieces will slip and slide causing your hair to drop out in frustration. Makes for a good cookie sheet. Or leave the cookies out and incinerate the game instead.
Back To The Future
The Board Game: Squishing the storylines from all three Back To The Future installments, you play Marty McFly (although which one is anyone’s guess) as he ventures through four time zones hunting down Doc, who’s trapped in 1885.
Why It’s No Fun: The board’s design leans towards the dull end of the spectrum, players are penalised far too easily and there’s hardly ever any bonuses handed out. Great Scott!
Worst Detail: The blatant product placement when Marty lands on “Miss-a-go” Pepsi squares.
The Sting
The Board Game: Based on the Redford and Newman movie that pits players against each other in a gigantic game of bluff, it really didn’t warrant trees torn down to create the board.
Why It’s No Fun: A whip round the board serves little purpose when the object is masquerading your hand.
If you’re going to exert effort on perfecting your pokerface, then play real poker instead. At least you’ve a chance to get reimbursed for what the game cost.
Worse Detail: Robert Redford appears to have been cast aside on the box art, in favour of a camp Benedict Cumberbatch.
Home Alone 2: Lost In New York
The Board Game: Not one, but two Home Alone movies each spawned a spin-off game. Similarly to the films, the game duplicates the purpose of the original with players in the role of brattish Kevin McAllister as he outwits the Wet Bandits.
Why It’s No Fun: Despite the absence of any devices like it in the film, the entire game is constructed around a rip-off Mouse Trap premise that’s more hindrance than fun.
Worst Detail: Landing on a square marked X means your Kevin dies. Bit brutal, despite how incredibly irritating he is.
Top Gun
The Board Game: Learn the basics of combat at Pensacola flight school before earning your stripes in the two slightly different follow-up rounds.
Why It’s No Fun: Taking on the role of Maverick is enough to fill one’s heart with glee at the prospect of manning fighter jets and stealing Kelly McGillis’ heart. Sadly, the game ignores all of that to become a Battleship knock off.
Worst Detail: A Top Gun game with circular counters instead of planes. Sacre bleu!
Superman II
The Board Game: All players begin in Fortress 24 off on a quest to capture Zod, Non and Ursa. It’s a promising start, which sadly turns into a thinly-veiled version of Snakes & Ladders.
Why It’s No Fun: The way to win is taken from the least creative method possible: luck of the draw. Expect to have the game on eBay within the hour.
Worst Detail: Bewildering instructions: "You DO NOT have to roll the exact count to land on a Red-Blank Space. However, you must roll the exact number OR a higher number."
World War Z
The Board Game: Based on Brad Pitt’s global galavant with multi-cultural zombies, this co-op game starts in the U.S. as your team of players roll the die to fire up the zombie, roll the die to plan their attack, roll the die... you get the idea.
Why Its No Fun: The majority of the game’s outcomes are based on the luck of the roll. No plotting your way around becoming a zombie’s elevenses, then.
Worst Detail: As a licensed game you’d expect the Pittster to appear at some point. No, the only star who briefly pops up in the film and on the game artwork is Matthew Fox.
Jaws
The Board Game: Bringing everyone’s fear of the water, and in particular Spielberg’s oceanic beastie, Jaws into a game for children is simply genius. Or a bit sadistic, perhaps.
Why It’s No Fun: Replacing the body-on-a-table from Operation with the gaping jaws of a great white, the aim of the game is to pump Jaws’ stomach.
Except by pump we mean retrieve junk he’s swallowed from the ocean with a giant hook, trying not to touch his bloody gums. It’ll have you whimpering with terror or swatting the plastic shark out of annoyance either way.
Worst Detail: The nonsensical horde of junk in Jaws’ guts. A tire, a fish bone, fine. For a game suitable for kids aged 6 and up, are guns and human skulls really appropriate?
Gosford Park
The Board Game: A talkie Robert Altman film somehow managed to inspire a game designer into conjuring up a board game based on a bunch of chortling toffs.
Why It’s No Fun: The aim of the game is so ludicrously simple (get your marker through the house and out the front door), the whole charade’s a bit pointless.
Worst Detail: The dazzling board is a tad out of place with the film’s rather muted theme.
Robocop
The Board Game: Parker Brothers knocked it out of the park with their kids game adap of Paul Verhoeven’s gratuitously blood-soaked cop killing romp.
Why It’s No Fun: Collecting ‘ultra hero’ medals by pursuing a gang of surly criminals sounds like a blast, however, the potential for cranking up the gruesome butchery is taken out of this game with its cartoon markers. It’s for kids aged 5-10.
Worst Detail: The inclusion of vehicle cards would lead you to believe the action takes place on the gritty Detroit streets. The board layout rather bizarrely is designed around rooftops.
