What if Movie Vampires Had Good Hair?
Like the nice boys in Twilight
Vampire haircuts
Thank god for Twilight. For years we’ve had to put up with vampires with stupid hair; finally a film’s come along that we can get onboard with.
Seriously, for hair fans, Twilight’s going to be the best horror flick ever made.
Don’t believe us? Then start clicking to find out what it would be like if all movie vamps had hair as sculpted as lead Twilight vamp Edward Cullen's (Robert Pattinson). Trust us, they look better.
Before: Lestat (Stuart Townsend) - Queen Of The Damned (2002)
Limp, curly cut that does seem to have some wax in it at least, but where’s the sculpted peak? Where are the little spiky bits? WHY DOESN’T IT HAVE HIGHLIGHTS?
After: Lestat (Stuart Townsend) - Queen Of The Damned (2002)
Much better. Johnny Suede eat your heart out. But, you know, save some of it for Stuart.
Before: Dracula (Gerard Butler) - Dracula 2000 (2000)
Jesus, do fang folk all visit the same hairdresser or what? Yet another wet curl mop that makes this particular Dracula look like he was sired in 1981. Just after he had a terrible haircut.
After: Dracula (Gerard Butler) - Dracula 2000 (2000)
Girls, this bat boy is super hot. Feel free to print this page out and pin it up on your wall. We totally understand where you’re coming from.
Before: Lestat (Tom Cruise) - Interview With The Vampire (1994)
Not you again. And now you've got a ponytail ?
After: Lestat (Tom Cruise) - Interview With The Vampire (1994)
Now we’re starting to get close to the sort of sexiness that could’ve seduced Brad Pitt. We imagine Katie Holmes travelled to the future, saw this picture, then travelled back in time and told her past self to have a kid with Cruise. “It’ll be totally worth the hassle.”
Before: Louis (Brad Pitt) - Interview With The Vampire (1994)
Way too long and, dude, you’re holding a cutting device. Use it on your bonce.
After: Louis (Brad Pitt) - Interview With The Vampire (1994)
Ah, much better. Brad, you should totally put this on your Bebo.
Before: The Lost Boys (1987)
Honestly, we don’t know where to start. Too many ‘80s haircuts, not enough time. We’ve never seen so much misused wax in our lives.
After: The Lost Boys (1987)
Um, swoon, much? If this was a boyband album cover we’d totally download it. Totally.
Before: Nosferatu (Max Schreck) - Nosferatu (1922)
Bald idiot. What was he thinking, being bald like that? Being bald is so lame. Bald.
After: Nosferatu (Max Schreck) - Nosferatu (1922)
"Um, Nosf? I’ve been watching you ever since I started at this new school, and I think you are totally hot. Maybe we could get a cup of blood sometime? There. I said it."
Sam Ashurst is a London-based film maker, journalist, and podcast host. He's the director of Frankenstein's Creature, A Little More Flesh + A Little More Flesh 2, and co-hosts the Arrow Podcast. His words have appeared on HuffPost, MSN, The Independent, Yahoo, Cosmopolitan, and many more, as well as of course for us here at 12DOVE.