What if life gave 1000 Achievement points?

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You're never going to Platinum real life

5G - Hi... Stebrian?

Forget someone's name and poorly cover it up by merging words together.

50G - Hired!

Get your dream job and prepare for a career.

5G - Shart

Ever go for a fart, and then a little more comes out? Yeah. That's this.

25G - Fired!

Downsizing, you know, the economy, and, um, sorry--you're fired.

5G - Coming out both ends

Get food poisoning and live to tell the tale.

10G - Embrace nerddom

Play Magic: The Gathering, Dungeons & Dragons, and Warhammer

5G - Done with that s***

Retire and get ready to spend all of your money.

25G - Little versions of little versions of you

Have grandchildren and spoil them rotten.

15G - Midlife crisis

Buy that expensive car. Seriously, no one will stop you.

5G - Riddle of the Sphinx

You know, these diapers are quite handy.

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Hollander Cooper
Hollander Cooper

Hollander Cooper was the Lead Features Editor of 12DOVE between 2011 and 2014. After that lengthy stint managing GR's editorial calendar he moved behind the curtain and into the video game industry itself, working as social media manager for EA and as a communications lead at Riot Games. Hollander is currently stationed at Apple as an organic social lead for the App Store and Apple Arcade. 

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