Trust me, you should totally play the latest GTA Online update like it's Metal Gear Solid
Opinion | The Cluckin' Bell Farm Raid is best approached with a serious dash of Solid Snake
GTA Online is at its best in its most chaotic moments. I don't think that's a controversial claim, when you consider the long-serving open-world crime simulator's most successful ventures, not least its Doomsday Heist, Diamond Casino, and Dr Dre-starring The Contract updates. The game's latest complimentary add-on, the Cluckin' Bell Farm Raid, can of course be played in full chaos mode, allowing you to slaughter everything that moves in a blood-spattered, snuff film-inspired onslaught. But, and this has totally caught me off guard, I actually think it's best played in full stealth.
With winding corridors, narrow thoroughfares, and a (un)healthy dose of claustrophobia, the GTA Online Cluckin' Bell Farm Raid is tailor-made for sniping and sleuthing – so much so that for me it's the best way to tackle its 'Scene of the Crime' final assignment.
Sneaky sneaky
I don't say this lightly. I love GTA Online at its most chaotic, in all its backs-to-the-wall, balls out the bathwater, Rambo First Blood-style glory. When I first played the multiplayer's Drug Wars update at the tail-end of 2022, I likened its high-stakes, uber violence to Denaton's Hotline Miami, so brutal were its Soulwax-scored shootouts. Again, going gung-ho in this instance is still totally viable, but taking things in the totally opposite direction is by far the most satisfying approach to keeping Vincent Effenburger happy.
Having crossed paths during the Diamond Casino days, the latest GTA Online update kicks off with a phone call from Officer Effenburger, and quickly sees you rattling through six series missions (which culminate in a heist) in your bid to disrupt a Latin American cartel's drug manufacturing and trafficking operation; pocketing what you can for yourself along the way. So far, so Grand Theft Auto, right? But where the Cluckin' Bell Raid excels, for me, is in its scope for stealth and silencers – something I've been actively critical of as it applies to this game in the past, not least when the Cayo Perico heist forced awkward stealth upon certain straits of its multi-checkpoint makeup back in 2019. Here, though, I love it.
With long but narrow corridors – filled with stacked boxes and wooden palettes, perfect for providing cover – and enemies with vision cones, there's a real Metal Gear Solid vibe about the Cluckin' Bell Farm raid if approached in this way. Sure, you'll take advantage of the game's aged bullet physics and laughably ignorant AI throughout, but it's still so much fun dropping bodies with silenced shots at range or pistol-whipping them into submission in close-quarters. My favorite example of this came at the very beginning of Scene of the Crime, when I took down two guards side-by-side with two well-placed Tactical SMG shots. One practically fell into the path of the other unnoticed, allowing me to snipe the other. After that, I nailed another guard at the opposite end of the hallway with a laser-focused shot that The Matrix editors would've cut for lacking realism.
In order to complete a full stealth run in Scene of the Crime, you'll need to finish the 'Organized Crime' set-up mission by wiping the CCTV footage and making sure you take out any witnesses along the way. After that, once you make it to the final 'Crime Scene' set-piece, all you need is a gun with a silencer equipped, light feet and a penchant for headshots. It's not always easy, but given how tightly connected the Cluckin' Bell factory's halls and storage rooms are, the method indoors is straightforward as you snake your way through the facility taking out enemies one-by-one.
Once you get out into the open, however, things get a little more complicated. Hostile guards are littered around the facility carpark, sometimes obscured by vehicles and corners, so keeping a watchful eye on the mini-map is vital. Once you've made it into your getaway car, be mindful of guards camped in the watchtowers that protect the front of the factory, and after that be advised that you can't actually escape the ensuing LSPD squad cars until you're pretty much almost at Vincent's lockup in the city, assuming you're going for the full stealth run including outrunning the 5-0.
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All told, I'm still in awe of how well GTA Online has and continues to push out new content in 2024 – even if there's a distinct sense that the impressively consistent cycle is finally winding down. I've said this so many times already, but who knows at this stage what will happen to GTA Online as we know it today when GTA 6 finally rolls around. That said, while we wait for the excruciatingly tentative "2025" release window that marks our trip to Vice City, I'm all for losing myself in Los Santos in ways I never expected. And playing in stealth mode in GTA Online's latest update is, of course, exactly that.
Joe Donnelly is a sports editor from Glasgow and former features editor at 12DOVE. A mental health advocate, Joe has written about video games and mental health for The Guardian, New Statesman, VICE, PC Gamer and many more, and believes the interactive nature of video games makes them uniquely placed to educate and inform. His book Checkpoint considers the complex intersections of video games and mental health, and was shortlisted for Scotland's National Book of the Year for non-fiction in 2021. As familiar with the streets of Los Santos as he is the west of Scotland, Joe can often be found living his best and worst lives in GTA Online and its PC role-playing scene.