1. Darkened Skye
2002 - PC, GameCube
Remember thatold Skittles ad, where the dude used his mystical geezer powers to summon fruit candy straight out of the sky? The commercial was actually pretty effective, mixing just the right amount of humor, whimsy and classic fantasy elements to sell the idea that Skittles were... magical. You know, in their own mass-produced, corporate-branded sort of way.
But then somewhere, at some time, some greedy executive was handed the results of a focus group and realization dawned. "You mean to say the kids like their sugar AND their videogames? Well, we'd practically be doing them a favor..." Voila - the lucrative worlds of fantasy and product placement collided and the cash-in action-RPG Darkened Skye was born.
Of course, what mashed well over 30 quick seconds simply seems ludicrous when stretched out over a dozen generic and repetitive candy-collecting hours. It's tough even getting past the instruction manual. "Some whisper that a few SKITTLES remain, and that someday the Magic will return." "In the Foretimes, the Great Rainbow arched the skies. From this flowed mysterious colored artifacts that the people called SKITTLES." "Necroth wants the rogue SKITTLES for himself and he wants you dead." Now imagine that riddled with registered trademark symbols. And now imagine yourself punching Mars, Incorporated in the face.
The most offensive part is the game box's lack of warning. Just a red-haired vixen and a sinister goblin, promising epic adventure inside. At least when you see Shaq threatening to poke your eyes out with his kung fu grip, or The Rock using his People's Elbow to direct exploding traffic, you know what kind of horrific alchemy lies in store.
