There was one Alan Wake 2 location I couldn't wait to visit, but it proved to be pure nightmare fuel
Opinion | Alan Wake 2's caffeinated theme park certainly woke me up… just not in the way I was expecting
In Alan Wake 2, the light from my torch cuts through the darkness to illuminate the smiling face of a big coffee pot statue. The literally caffeinated figure wears an oversized bow-tie and is perched on a ledge, framed by trees that obscure the gray skies above. A handful of colorful balloons decorate the scene, and one is adorned with a crudely drawn face that matches the coffee pot's exaggerated grin. The clownish quality of the coffee pot is enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth as it is, but the way it looms over me just adds to my ever increasing sense of dread. Nothing has even attacked me, yet, but the disquiet I feel is palpable. I can't believe it. I've finally made it to Coffee World, a place I was actually excited to get to thanks to some well placed teases earlier on in the game. But now that I'm actually here, all I want to do is leave.
This may be an amusement park, but I'm far from amused. In fact, I'm downright terrified. The abandoned attractions, unsettling, jovial characters, and pitch blackness of the night brew up the perfect blend of horror. Just moments into exploring the area, I've more than had my fill, but I must make my way to the Percolator ride in search of a screwdriver. I find myself thinking that if I wasn't so compelled to see how the story of Alan Wake's return and Saga's journey shakes out, I would have chickened out ages ago. But even as I jump at the slightest sound and constantly feel on edge, reaching this eerie park just makes me glad that I've kept preserving in spite of myself.
My cup of terror
As a survival horror experience, Alan Wake 2 is absolutely taking me out of my comfort zone. I'm a self-confessed scaredy-cat, after all, and I don't tend to venture within the genre all that often. Despite my aversion to all things spooky, I've always thought of the first Alan Wake as one of the rare exceptions in my gaming history. While it was more of an action thriller with a supernatural edge, there were still scary vibes that I personally had to steel myself against throughout. Naturally, when I first heard the sequel would be leaning into the horror, I was filled with a sense of trepidation. Could I really handle this? Would I enjoy it? After years of waiting, my curiosity far outweighed my apprehension. I just had to find out what had happened to the crime writer I had braved Bright Falls with over a decade ago. Plus, as a big fan of Quantum Break and Control, I knew I'd be willing to test the waters to experience something new from Remedy.
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Do I find it scary? Yes. Am I enjoying it despite that? Oh, yes. No one is more surprised by this than me. From the moment I first stepped into the game as a naked dude in a dark forest, I've constantly felt like I'm bracing myself for the next scare. I don't think I've felt this tense playing a game since I attempted to start Resident Evil 4 on the Wii (a mistake I still regret). I'm sure this is nothing for veterans of the genre out there, but this is as close to horror as I want to ever get. Any time I venture away from the safety of the light as Saga or Alan, I feel like I'm having to push past my own fears to go up against the shadows.
Ever since I tried out the first game, I've always found the Taken enemies incredibly unsettling and they're a lot higher on the scary scale in Alan Wake 2. You can usually hear the shadowy figures before you see them, and when you're in a forested area that's perpetually shrouded in darkness, it often causes a feeling of panic to rise up in my chest. I desperately try to find them before they make me jump out of my skin, but sometimes I'm just not quick enough. Given that this is a world that's home to such horrors, you might ask yourself why I was at all excited about going to Coffee World. After all, judging from my experience so far, it absolutely wouldn't be immune to the presence of the Taken terrors that haunt my every step. But it speaks to what I love most about Alan Wake 2.
Java good time
For me, the joy is in the details. Remedy's survival horror is laden with things to find, from hidden messages to collectibles, and Easter eggs. There's so much to read into and ruminate on, with a great mystery constantly propelling you forward. There's so much to see if you're willing to look, and as a fan of the original game, it's been what can best be described as an unexpected delight to return to this weird world - even if it's not always good for my heart. My first time to Bright Falls in years felt familiar and new at the same time, like returning to a place you'd been to before, but time had distorted your memory of it.
I'm constantly battling with the overwhelming desire to get the hell out of any given place out of fear, but also wanting to explore every inch so I don't miss a thing. Despite the fright fest I was sure I was in for, I wanted to go to Coffee World thanks to some well placed teases of the theme park before I got there. What first drew my eye in the town, for example, was the sight of two people in Oh Deer Diner thermos suits, standing in front of a table of coffee beans. A sign hanging from the table's edge read "come to Coffee World, where the fun is percolating."
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Not too long before my excursion to the park itself, I also came across a TV with a comical commercial from the Koskela brothers Illmo and Jaakko. As another form of collectibles in the world, the corny ads are well worth finding for their entertainment value alone. This time, the commercial inquisition was for Coffee World, and honestly, nothing could have sold it to me better. "Voted Washington's best coffee-themed amusement park", Ilmo declares. Color me intrigued. Why wouldn't I want to go to a place with a brew-tiful gift shop, a moose called Mocha, and themed rides like the Slow Roaster ferris wheel and Espresso Express? Sure, it maybe also had a haunted well, but just hearing about its attractions was more than enough to make me hope I'd get to go there.
Lo and behold, that wish came true. If only it didn't have to come with a side of Taken attacking me from rides, or a talking sign that made my heart leap out of my chest during a spot of exploration. But again, even though I was terrified the entire time I was in the park, I wanted to see everything it had on offer. From taking in all the little nick knacks in the gift shop, to heading down the Fair Trade Zone, I had to take it all in all the decorations, details, and areas. Being in Coffee World is simultaneously the best and worst experience. I've never wanted to be in a place and also desperately want to leave it at the same time. And to be honest, I think that perfectly captures my time with Alan Wake 2 so far.
I can push through the frightening factor because I'm so intrigued by the story and setting of Alan Wake 2, just as much as I was in the first game, if not more. I'm sure in the light of day, without the Taken, Coffee World is a caffeinated world of delights. But as it is, it's one of the most unsettling theme parks I've ever been in. It's safe to say it took me on quite the ride, and not unlike the feeling I get when I actually drink coffee in real life, I was a jittery mess by the end of it all. Even if the smiling face of that coffee pot will likely haunt my dreams for some time to come, I'm proud of myself for sticking it out to experience all the sights, sounds, and scares of the park.
Stepping into Remedy's survival horror yourself? Be as prepared as possible with our Alan Wake 2 tips.
I started out writing for the games section of a student-run website as an undergrad, and continued to write about games in my free time during retail and temp jobs for a number of years. Eventually, I earned an MA in magazine journalism at Cardiff University, and soon after got my first official role in the industry as a content editor for Stuff magazine. After writing about all things tech and games-related, I then did a brief stint as a freelancer before I landed my role as a staff writer here at 12DOVE. Now I get to write features, previews, and reviews, and when I'm not doing that, you can usually find me lost in any one of the Dragon Age or Mass Effect games, tucking into another delightful indie, or drinking far too much tea for my own good.