The Star Trek teaser!

The magical Internets may be pushing their power hamsters faster on their little wheels and we may all soon be downloading movies straight into our eye sockets, but you still can’t quite beat the written word for getting the skinny on a film’s teaser.

Not in sci-fi film land, at least… Yes, we may be only a few days from the online release of the teaser for JJ Abrams’ new Star Trek movie, but some lucky scallywag has already peeped the thing and whacked up a description.

We won’t post any of it here (in case anyone wishes to be completely pure), but we will raise a spoilery discussion point below, so if you don’t want any knowledge, avoid anything below this paragraph or clicking to Hollywood Chicago ’s page.

Okay… Everyone else gone? True fans only? Right… So apparently (and IESB.net, which dug up the link, originally checked with Paramount and it seems legit) the footage shows the Enterprise being built on Earth. Earth? Really? Have you seen the size of that ship? How is it supposed to get into space? The Enterprise was never intended for Earth atmosphere or landing or… (Sounds of our LA Contributing Editor being dragged off to The William Shatner Home for the Terminally Geeky).

Source: ( Hollywood Chicago )

The Total Film team are made up of the finest minds in all of film journalism. They are: Editor Jane Crowther, Deputy Editor Matt Maytum, Reviews Ed Matthew Leyland, News Editor Jordan Farley, and Online Editor Emily Murray. Expect exclusive news, reviews, features, and more from the team behind the smarter movie magazine. 

Latest in Action Movies
Anthony Mackie in Captain America: Brave New World
Brave New World box office crosses milestone for Captain America movies, even though it still might not break even
Michael Bay
Michael Bay and James Cameron had a call to commiserate over the state of the movie industry: "No one can greenlight anything anymore"
Daniel Craig in No Time to Die
James Bond will reportedly remain male and British under new Amazon management, as Pierce Brosnan says it's "a given" that the next actor must not be American
Batman and Catwoman talking
Robert Pattinson is hoping to team up with his The Batman co-star Zoe Kravitz on another project soon
Keanu Reeves and Brzrkr
Justin Lin to helm Keanu Reeves' comic book movie adaptation BRZRKR for Netflix
Black Widow post-credits
Avengers Tower will have a new name in Thunderbolts, and the movie's director says it's "a symbol of things taking a darker turn"
Latest in News
Original Xbox console
Former Microsoft exec says the first Xbox was killed early in favor of 360 because it was "losing money left right and center," but luckily "we could afford to hemorrhage cash"
A Monster Hunter Wilds character holding binoculars.
Despite Monster Hunter Wilds suffering monstrous performance problems on PC, it still outsold the PS5 and Xbox Series X versions in the US
Jordan A. Mun looks at herself in a mirror in just a vest in Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet screenshot
The Last of Us creator Neil Druckmann says Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet will also be about "being lonely," as if his zombie apocalypse wasn’t isolating enough: "I really want you to be lost"
A screenshot of Jordan drinking a soda during the reveal trailer for Intergalactic: The Hertic Prophet.
Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet is "a game about faith and religion," which Neil Druckmann jokes will surely get less hate than The Last of Us 2
Pedro Pascal as Joel in The Last of Us
The Last of Us is "better" than 28 Days Later, says movie writer Alex Garland: "This is so much more sophisticated and moving"
Atelier Ryza 3 protagonist closeup
JRPG producer says people prefer their anime girls to have thick thighs when the economy's in the tank, and he's not even joking a little bit