Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Arcade Attack review

An attack on your sanity

12DOVE Verdict

Pros

  • +

    Amusing dialogue

  • +

    All your favorite turtles

  • +

    Technically won't cause brain damage

Cons

  • -

    Crudely animated turtles

  • -

    Tediously repetitive levels

  • -

    Awkwardly stiff combat

Why you can trust 12DOVE Our experts review games, movies and tech over countless hours, so you can choose the best for you. Find out more about our reviews policy.

As we stare down the barrel of a fresh new year, our thoughts turn to games. In this most futuristic year of 2010, technology will surely bless us with unparalleled experiences. Well, here’s hoping it does, because 2009 went out on a low with this cack-fest.

Arcade Attack is a fighting game so tedious that we suffered a total neural shutdown about five minutes in. We managed to stay awake through the risibly scripted opening ‘cutscene’ only because its ‘fan fiction written by an eight-year-old’ dialogue amused us greatly. But then the action (pfft!) began and our brains went into standby mode. Playing as one of the four crudely animated Turtles, with the CPU (or an unfortunate friend) ‘being’ another, you pummel identi-goons in a range of locations. There’s no fluidity to the combat or movement, no variety, no demand for skill or tactics. You just mash the buttons and move on. Dire.

Jan 13, 2009

More info

GenreAction
DescriptionDespite wanting to play like beat-em-ups of old, there’s no fluidity to the combat or movement, no variety, no demand for skill or tactics. You just mash the buttons and move on. Dire.
Platform"DS"
US censor rating"Everyone 10+"
UK censor rating"12+"
Release date1 January 1970 (US), 1 January 1970 (UK)
More
CATEGORIES