Super Smash Bros. Ultimate players use new Stage Mode to flood Nintendo app with penises
To the surprise of absolutely no one
*NSFW images ahead*
Yesterday, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate got its first DLC fighter - Persona 5's Joker - and a previously teased Stage Builder mode. The Stage Builder lets you share custom stages via the Nintendo Switch Online mobile app, and top stages are also featured on the front of the app's Super Smash Bros. Ultimate page. In other words, Nintendo gave the internet free reign and a billboard, so of course people immediately uploaded a bunch of penises. Here's a stage I've seen reuploaded several times:
To its credit, Nintendo has clearly begun moderating which stages are featured on the app. As Eurogamer reported, the app was in much direr straits mere hours ago, with penises popping up basically everywhere. Barring enormous wooden breasts, the image above is one of just two sex-related stages I've seen. This is the other one:
That being said, refreshing the Nintendo app at the time of writing still yields a truckload of precisely the bile that you'd expect from the internet. I'm not going to share it here, but let's just say it reminds me of the dumpster graffiti at my old high school: swastikas, straight-up blackface, Spongebob is there.
The good news is that the app is not only getting cleaner by the hour, it's also getting flooded with shots of Joker which are pushing down all the NSFW crap. Plus I've seen some pretty cute stuff, from the obvious Nintendo character portraits to Garfield's face. Lots of posts also remind me of the intriguing-yet-ominous messages you'd see in Splatoon chat. One philosopher published a question which will haunt me for the rest of the day:
As a palette cleanser, let me leave you with this image of Joker Kirby holding a gun:
It's looking like Joker could rank pretty highly on the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate tier list.
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Austin freelanced for the likes of PC Gamer, Eurogamer, IGN, Sports Illustrated, and more while finishing his journalism degree, and he's been with 12DOVE since 2019. They've yet to realize that his position as a senior writer is just a cover up for his career-spanning Destiny column, and he's kept the ruse going with a focus on news and the occasional feature, all while playing as many roguelikes as possible.