Sonic the Hedgehog porn parody trailer thinks it can just waltz into an internet full of Sonic porn

Dear internet, there is now a porn parody of the Sonic the Hedgehog movie, and you can watch the trailer for it right now. It's sort of safe for work? A bit?

The porn parody, fully titled Sonic The Vadgehog, premiered today with a trailer YouTube and the full version live on Pornhub. No, I'm not linking you to it, you can find it yourself. At this point you may be saying, "Hey now Connor, there have been sexy pictures of Sonic and his friends floating around the internet for as long as people have been horny online. What makes this parody so special?"

I'll tell you what makes it so special, and it isn't even the freaky hedgehog face mask prosthetic. It's the strained references to Sonic canon and video games in general:

• "You look like you're wearing a sexy Sonic the Hedgehog Halloween costume."
• "Earth, where my video game ass can be as slutty as Leisure Suit Larry."
• "I want you to go Knuckles deep in me."
• "I haven't been wet since the Mario Kart accident."

Making a "gotta go fast" joke seems to have been too obvious even for a porn parody of Sonic the Hedgehog, so they went for a Fast & Furious reference instead - or maybe it was just too dirty to put in the trailer. I'll bet they save the Big the Cat and Cream the Rabbit puns for the true fans who pay to watch the extended version on Pornhub Premium, as well.

Sonic The Vadgehog was created by WoodRocket, the same company that brought us that Apex Legends porn parody last year. It's really putting in the work to become our number one source for live-action video game porn made ASAP. Granted, WoodRocket will never be as fast as thirsty fan artists on social media, but it can still try.

How am I supposed to follow a live-action Sonic porn parody with a pithy link to another article on 12DOVE? I don't know. Let's look at some video game release dates.