SFX Spurious Awards Of The Week

Pervy werewolves, strange Doctor Who headlines, disturbing Teletubbies, Thor redubbed and a whole load more…

HEADLINE OF THE WEEK

Forget love-sick Cybermen. There seems to be a whole other drama going on in Colchester that deserves a show all of its own – talent show-related poisoning! And what about that other headline in the top right – the subtlest piece of foreshadowing in Doctor Who ever? Sure beats Tennant looking up at some fireworks and going, “You know what they make me think about, Rose? That you’re going to sucked into an alternate dimension in a couple of weeks…”

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BIGGEST DRIP OF THE WEEK

Take your pick. Secret Circle ’s full of ’em.
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PERVIEST SCENE OF THE WEEK

In The Vampire Diaries , Tyler locks his mum in a cell, strips naked in front of her and chains himself up. Apparently he’s trying to prove that he’s a werewolf. Likely story. And while we’re on the subject – and we can’t think why we’ve never noticed this before – The Vampire Diaries is another of those increasingly common shows and film where werewolves transform into common or garden mutts, rather than big, monstrous werewolves. Which rather begs the question: what’s the point in chaining themselves up with human-sized manacles? When they turn into skinny-legged doggies, surely they can just slip out?
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PARALLEL UNIVERSE OF THE WEEK

US sitcom Community has a slightly different of Doctor Who to the one we know.
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POTENTIAL OLYMPIC SPORT OF THE WEEK

Hobbit boxing. It beats dwarf tossing any day of the week. Dominic Monaghan and Elijah Wood face trouble from a different kind of ring at Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas last week.
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RETRO GAMES OF THE WEEK

De-imaginings courtesy of GeekTyrant , where you’ll find loads more.

MORE SPURIOUS AWARDS ON THE NEXT PAGE…

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MORE DE-IMAGININGS OF THE WEEK

Fox Retro from PUNGA on Vimeo .

Will the 8-bit meme ever end? Actually, if people keep producing things are fun as this one, we don’t mind if it rolls on a little while longer.
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Tops of the floppies, and make no mistake.
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DISTURBING IMAGE OF THE WEEK

First thought: how come nobody has ever thought of this before. Second thought: we kinda wish no-one ever had thought of it ever. Discovered by Cory Doctorow and placed on BoingBoing .
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Some people have too much time and a YouTube account on their hands. And we’re glad they do. Because they make us smile.
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OBLIGATORY PORTAL AWARD OF THE WEEK

Portal coasters . Sadly none of them transport your drink automatically from the bar to your table.
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DUBBING (OR SHOULD THAT BE DRUBBING) OF THE WEEK

Thor was great. This is evil. We still like it.
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CRAPPEST EXCUSE OF THE WEEK

7-Eleven stores in Taiwan have pulled key chains, USB drives and magnets featuring a cartoon vampire that bears a striking resemblance to Adolf Hitler after complaints from the Israel Economic and Cultural Office in Taipei (ISECO). Company officials originally denied that the cartoon was meant to depict Hitler, claiming the black square on the figure’s face was a tooth. When that didn’t wash (well, it’s hardly in line with its fangs!) they tried t pass it off as nose. They then finally admitted defeat. The figure was designed by blogger Mark Lee who says that while the its appearance was inspired by Hitler, the cartoon was not meant to endorse any of Hitler’s views. In addition to depicting the dictator’s famous moustache, the caricature also wears a red armband and, in one version, has its arm raised in the fashion of the iconic Nazi salute. “I had hoped to use it to satirize some bosses,” Lee told Agence France-Presse . “In the eyes of disgruntled employees, many bosses are greedy and dictatorial and like vampires trying to suck money from them.”
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THE GOLDEN SPURIOUS AWARD OF THE WEEK

We haven’t even read it, and yet, somehow, we know this is a huge, whopping great monument to Spuriosity…

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Dave Golder
Freelance Writer

Dave is a TV and film journalist who specializes in the science fiction and fantasy genres. He's written books about film posters and post-apocalypses, alongside writing for SFX Magazine for many years.