Nintendogs review

Day 3: 11:32 More stress relieving tummy-rubbing, followed by the most stressful half-hour of our lives. Killing Salazar was easy next to the nightmare of teaching George to jump.

When he actually listens, there's only a split-second to tap the learn icon, and he keeps getting the little red Confused icon because we've got a bit of a cold and don't always sound the same.

It takes 35 minutes and 17 repetitions before he does it on command. So we play with a ball for a bit, but our hearts aren't really in it.

Day 3: 13:18 We enter the Frisbee competition. It's hosted by the same people as the Obedience competition, and we're even forced to click through exactly the same chatter again.

We're hampered by the fact George can't actually catch a frisbee and finish last, so we spend the next walk trying to strangle George with his lead, but the worst we can do is make him squeak a bit by pulling him forwards too fast. Still, no bath tonight, pal.

Day 4: 23:41 We spend 45 minutes trying to teach George an advanced trick that we've done by accident - if you shout 'jump' while he's on his back, he flips on to his feet. He refuses to do it consistently.

We enter an Expert Class competition anyway, but finish fifth because we've forgotten to teach him Beg. It's a schoolboy error, but George still doesn't get any tea.

Day 5: 17:28 George still refuses to catch a frisbee, despite us honing our skills in the park. So we sell his nice collar and scrape the cash together to buy a sheepdog. Competition, that's the key. George has been getting complacent lately.

Teaching Bennet new tricks seems pointless, so we chuck a ball about for a bit. We refuse to pick up a brown steamer he leaves on the pavement because we're feeling naughty.

Day 6: 19:00 We take Bennet for a walk - by the way, it's a little bit annoying that you can't take both dogs at once, like you can in, say, real life - and we find a present on the street. Excellent stuff.

Day 6: 19:01 Humph. Honestly, what kind of person wraps up a broken camera with no film in it in a parcel, then leaves it lying around?

We convince a friend to play Bark mode, and give them the broken camera - then we give them the red ribbons as well, because we feel guilty and Geraint says they make our dog look a bit camp. Now we're off to the dog show.

Day 7: 23:05 We come last and do an all-the-buttons reset in a fit of drunken rage. George is technically dead. We cry for 10 minutes.

Day 8: 19:00 We go off to the kennels to buy some stuff.

And that's what Nintendogs is all about. Every bit of it reeks of quality (and dog mess, obviously) - and it's relentlessly addictive in a stressless, 'time for a quick walk' sort of way.

It's the perfect way of working out if your flatmate's a robot - only a heartless cyborg assassin wouldn't love these fluffy little pups - but it's not for those that are easily bored of endless, patient training and failure.

Anyway, got to go - we've seen the most adorable velvet ruff for little Kramer.

Nintendogs is out for DS now