Movies that made us want to puke
Seven films that'll have you reaching for the sick sack...
Speed Racer's out on DVD this week, and we feel it's our duty to shoo motion sickness sufferers away from it. And, while we're here, here's six more flicks that'll make you reach for the sick bags.
Speed Racer (2008)
Boy racer flings himself around a series of psychedelic tracks that make Super Mario Kart look like Pong.
Cloverfield (2008)
Monster invades New York, becomes a digi-cam film star.
Why it made us sick: The first and (hopefully) final big blockbuster to filch filming techniques from YouTube, seeing Cloverfield at the cinema is akin to being caught in a hurricane with an army of angry soldiers whilst trying to read the MySpace pages of a small group of idiots.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Witch invades woods, becomes digi-cam film star.
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
Amnesiac spy lurches about woozily, scrapping with anyone who gets in the way of the pursuit of his memories.
Doom (2005)
Mars space station gets invaded by demons, soldiers holding guns blow them away.
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Why it made us sick: Pelting our way through corridors blasting demons with sawn-off shotguns playing the game made us feel sick enough - watching The Rock do it on a massive screen made us donate our dinner to the Gods Of Puke even faster. Avoid it at all costs if you've got a sensitive tummy, or operational critical faculties.
Transformers (2007)
Robots that turn into cars and planes invade Earth to sell toys.
Why it made us sick : Cars turning into massive bloody robots in a whirr of thousands of spinning pistons? Far too much for our puny corneas to take in, so we deposited our lunch on the foyer floor.
Martyrs (2009)
Philosophical take on the torture porn genre.
Why it made us sick: We can’t say too much about this one, ‘cause it’s not out for ages and we don’t want to spoil it for you before you’ve even properly heard of it. But, trust us, when you do eventually get the chance to see it, as we did at this year’s FrightFest, bring a bucket or two, just in case.
Sam Ashurst is a London-based film maker, journalist, and podcast host. He's the director of Frankenstein's Creature, A Little More Flesh + A Little More Flesh 2, and co-hosts the Arrow Podcast. His words have appeared on HuffPost, MSN, The Independent, Yahoo, Cosmopolitan, and many more, as well as of course for us here at 12DOVE.