Kane's Wrath: The FMVs

From the get go, her character addresses you with the annoying tone of a jealous lover (we wish?). Henstridge’s thespian prowess is put to the test as her character arc sharply transitions her from awkward and confused to shrill and confused to dead and (spoiler alert!) confused. Her passive-aggressive evil nun shtick does have its moments though. Sometimes during briefings she tells you to succeed because for some reason Kane believes in you. Thanks for the pep-talk there, Cruella.

Personally, I liked Natasha Henstridge in The Whole Nine Yards so I feel bad ragging on her here. But in Kane’s Wrath she and Carl Lumbly try to outdo each other for exasperated expressions: “Why am I here?” “Why is this bald man yelling at me?” “Didn’t I have a career once?” Henstridge and Lumbly recite the lines, but only Joseph Kucan seems to have any clue what they mean. Granted, Kucan’s been in the FMV game longer and he’s got his creepy-yet-personable-evil-genius-face down pat. But c’mon, these other guys are actual actors.

Maybe my mistake is trying to take these videos seriously – a feat I find nearly impossible. Re-watching them with much lowered expectations might let me enjoy the campiness for what it is. The highlight to me is the hectic and poorly-orchestrated death scene that concludes Chapter 2. The scene actually reminds me of the glorious ending of Plan 9 from Outer Space, the mother of all B movies. I think that’s the highest compliment I can pay it.

Got a favorite computer game with awesome/bad FMV’s? Send an e-mail to Pip the Intern at[email protected]and I’ll review them.

May 7, 2008