I simply do not know how to feel about this yassified Witcher 3 statue

You get to see a lot of weird and wonderful gaming merch in this job, but occasionally something comes along that's truly baffling, and that's certainly true of this Witcher 3 statue.

Revealed earlier today, the statue comes from the renowned Japanese sculpture label Kotobukiya, and is available for preorder at a cool $170 ahead of shipping early next year. On the one hand, it's very impressive - from the detail on Geralt's iconic Witcher 3 chainmail pauldrons, to the runes on the crossguard of his silver sword, to the Igni symbol on the spell being cast from his hand, there's a lot to admire.

But there are also some substantial differences, for this is a Bishoujo statue. It's a term I wasn't previously familiar with, but translates literally to 'beautiful girl' in Japanese. If there were anything wrong with gender-swapped pop culture characters, the entire fan art industry would go bust, so I've got nothing against the decision to offer Geralt an ample bosom, and the hair is barely any different from their traditional appearance anyway.

What's caught me off guard with this one is Geralt's overall yassification. The Butcher of Blaviken is sporting some serious foundation, with plenty of mascara, eyeliner, and a touch of fetching lilac lipstick. There's even a cute lil' button nose. For a character best known for slumming it through the mud much of the time, it's a look that doesn't seem particularly easy to maintain, especially in the heat of battle. 

Now, I do acknowledge the existence of characters like Triss and Yen, as well as Ciri. The Sorceresses, however, have the magically-enhanced cosmetic abilities, and Ciri tends to opt for a very smoky eye as the extent of her lewk. It all feels a little easier to maintain than whatever this particular Geralt is up to.

Yassified or otherwise, it won't be long before Geralt returns for The Witcher season 3 on Netflix. Unfortunately, it'll be a lot longer before we see any of these characters back for The Witcher 4.