Look, I'm not going to pretend that Bottle Taps Race, Hexagonos or Meatloaf Rotation are good games – let alone games I'd heard of before googling them three minutes ago – but the prospect of playing Sonic The Hedgehog (1 and 2), Golden Axe, Mortal Kombat (1 to 3) and Virtua Fighter 2 *for a frankly criminal £34.99* was too good to resist. Warning: I'm going to write some more words about why you should probably buy this mini 16-bit console, but fellow sufferers of nostalgic insanity can buy this Sega Mega Drive with two controllers and 81 games for £34.99 from Argos, saving a GARGANTUAN £25.
Oh, still here? Well… er… the Mega Drive was a thing back when dinosaurs roamed the earth (of their own volition, I might add, and not under the pernicious influence of an Italian's plumbers mind-control hat) and it was totally ok for games to be in 2D, and for us to spend ages talking about sprites and parallax scrolling. Mortal Kombat even caused a giant hubbub when Nicolas Cage (?) ripped out a ninja's heart, in a fountain of red pixels that would traumatise a generation, leading to the invention of Facebook and Brexit.
More usefully, here's the 81 games you get with your replica Sega Mega Drive:
1 Adventure in the Park
2 Air Hockey
3 Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle
4 Alien Storm
5 Altered Beast
6 Arrow Flash
7 Black Sheep
8 Bomber
9 Bonanza Bros.
10 Bottle Taps Race
11 Brain Switch
12 Break the Fireline
13 Bubbles Master
14 Cannon
15 Checker
16 Chess
17 Columns
18 Columns III
19 Comix Zone
20 Crack Down
21 Cross the road
22 Curling 2010
23 Decap Attack
24 Dinosaur Puzzle
25 Dominant Amber
26 Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine
27 ESWAT: City Under Siege
28 Eternal Champions
29 Fatal Labyrinth
30 Fight or Lose
31 Flash Memory
32 Flicky
33 Gain Ground
34 Golden Axe
35 Golden Axe II
36 Golden Axe III
37 Hexagonos
38 Hidden Agenda
39 Hide and Seek
40 Jack's Pea
41 Jewel Magic
42 Jewel Master
43 Jura Formula
44 Kid Chameleon
45 Lost World Sudoku
46 Mahjong Solitaire
47 Meatloaf Rotation
48 Mega Brain Switch
49 Memory
50 Mirror Mirror
51 Mortal Kombat
52 Mortal Kombat II
53 Mortal Kombat III
54 Mr. Balls
55 Mya Master Mind
56 Naval Power
57 Panic Lift
58 Phantasy Star 3: Generations Of Doom
59 Phantasy Star II
60 Plumbing Contest
61 Ptero Spotting
62 Ristar
63 Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi
64 Shining Force II: The Ancient Seal
65 Shining Force: The Legacy of Great Intention
66 Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master
67 Skeleton Scale
68 Snake
69 Sonic & Knuckles
70 Sonic Spinball
71 Sonic the Hedgehog
72 Sonic the Hedgehog II
73 Spider
74 Super Thunder Blade
75 The Ooze
76 Vectorman
77 Virtua Fighter II
78 Wall-Breaking
79 Warehouse Keeper
80 Whack-a-Wolf
81 Yawning Triceratops
It almost looks like I re-ordered the list so number 81 would appear last, but that's genuinely a co-incidence. Maybe there is a god? I mean, who knows. One to discuss with your kids when playing ESWAT: City Under Siege, perhaps.
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