Silence your cell phones now
Apparently the sting of the Super Mario Bros movie has finally worn off, because Nintendo is talking about making movies based on its properties for the first time in a long while. There haven't been any specifics and Nintendo doesn't have anything in the works, but the mere suggestion of a new all-Nintendo movie (and not just a wince-inducing cameo in an Adam Sandler film), has thrown open the theater doors to fans' enthusiastic desires.
Everyone has an idea of what Nintendo property could make the best movie - Zelda! Metroid! Chibi-Robo! - and we at 12DOVE are no exception. But, rather than argue back and forth amongst ourselves (and express our disagreement by flinging any Nintendo figurines within arm's reach), we thought it more constructive to jot down our arguments for each and present them for the world to weigh and consider. These are the Nintendo movies we dearly want to see, and you know we'll pay extra for the 3D glasses.
Connor is fantasizing about a Fire Emblem film
The Lord of the Rings trilogy made fantasy cool again, and then Game of Thrones exchanged all the fey interludes with elves and tree folk for traumatizing turns of treachery. But there's still plenty of room for something in the middle: a fantasy world filled with good friends, grand adventures, and intricate politics alike. And that's Fire Emblem: The Motion Picture.
As much about relationships as it is about saving the world, Fire Emblem is perfect cinematic fodder for action fiends and drama lovers alike. With a little bit of narrative surgery to bring characters from across the extended (and somewhat unclear) Fire Emblem timeline together, we could watch their triumphs and tragedies play out across generations. After all, Fire Emblem was setting up weddings and perma-death funerals before George R.R. Martin even started on A Song of Ice and Fire.
Anthony wants to take a stroll through Startropics
In an age when Goonies continues to find new treasure-finding fans through Netflix and Nintendos back catalog of B-list games looks sweeter and sweeter, a StarTropics movie just feels right.
Its got everything! Adventure, a personal submarine, gender-swapping castle invasions, tropical beauty, and eyeball-vomiting alien overlords. The NES action RPG about a young man using a yo-yo to save his uncle from island deities/space monsters is full of enough weird characters and hijinks to fill myriad cultishly adored summer flicks.
Ashley thinks a Pikmin picture would be perfect
Pikmin may seem too gameplay-focused to shine on the silver screen, since you spend most of its run directing a navely helpful sprite army and swallowing back a lump of guilt when you accidentally drown half of them. But a Pikmin movie could still be appealing (and all kinds of adorable) if it shifted focus from strategy and instead fixated on the game's colorful world and its always inquisitive flower-headed leads.
The best part is that we already know Pikmin can work in a strictly cinematic format: Miyamoto's stupidly cute Pikmin shorts show that a little change in perspective from tactics to antics can turn Pik-adventures into good viewing. Admittedly these shorts lend themselves more to a TV series than a feature-length film, but with such a blank story-canvas, there's a world of Pik-possibilities here.
Maxwell should direct an Earthbound movie
I can see it in my mind's eye: Earthbound, with all its dry wit and nostalgic undertones, realized as a Wes Anderson-style comedy-cum-drama in the vein of Moonrise Kingdom. We open on Ness, our young hero, who leaps from his bed at the sound of a meteor crash. He runs to the door clutching a baseball bat, stopping to tell his mother - played by Tilda Swinton - that he is "going on an adventure." The camera swings around to the mother, looking unimpressed, who states "Okay, but first change out of those pajamas." Cue upbeat music.
We'd see new age retro hippies chase our heroes through the streets with rulers. The villainous Happy Happy cult would try and cover them in blue paint because, frankly, "Blue is the happiest color." Jeff would shoot bottle rockets at an angry tree. These gags would be punctuated by a coming of age story about four friends who leave everything familiar behind and learn to rely on themselves - and each other - in the adult world.
Lorenzo has ideas about Legend of Zelda
If Nintendo wants to make a Zelda movie, there's one big problem: You know it's going to feel weird when the characters from the Zelda universe start speaking out loud on the silver screen. The Zelda series has always kept its characters from speaking in game, so it would feel out of place to hear the characters string more than a few words together. The last time Link said anything more than a grunt or a yell we got this nonsense. If we end up getting a Legend of Zelda movie, Nintendo will need to find a way to zip Link's lips.
The story should be everything you'd expect: A young boy goes off on an adventure to discover magical artifacts and rescue a kingdom in peril. But how do you keep him quiet? Maybe make him travel alone. When you're alone in the wilderness, there's no need for words. Or, just make it a silent film. That way it will keep with the characters being unable to vocalize their thoughts, and everything they say will be shown in a text box. Now that would be staying true to the games.
Sam knows that StarFox has star power
I know what you're thinking, but hear me out: A StarFox film could be more than Star Wars But With Furries. An animated film (yes, animated - you don't want another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 incident do you?) would be a perfect way to explore the roots of the team and show Fox's ascension from rookie to pro.
See, Fox and crew have always existed as perfect archetypes: Fox the infallible hero, Falco the sassy sidekick, Peppy the wise mentor, and Slippy the bumbling rookie. It would be a fun twist to see these characters as something more complicated than a series of tropes and cliches, and a movie is the perfect opportunity to do just that. A film adaptation would also let us learn more about the galaxy that the StarFox team is fighting to protect. This way, those who want to just hop in an Arwing and go blasting can do that, while those interested in the lore can pop in the movie.
Susan wants Metroid to take it to the edge
It doesnt get much more ready-for-the-silver-screen than the tale of Samus Aran, space pirates, and Mother Brain. An intergalactic bounty hunter who comes packed with all sorts of weapons and gadgets is tailor-made for some cinematic adventures, and it would be easy enough to throw some new alien enemies into the mix to keep things lively. The action sequences practically write themselves, and could either adopt a grim and gritty aesthetic or keep a more family-friendly aspect - the Metroid franchise is very flexible that way.
The Metroid games were never overly bogged down by story, which leaves plenty of room for storytelling (though well just skip Other M entirely, ok? Cool.) while staying true to what makes Metroid great. The second sequel could even fall back on that most Metroidy of story elements - stripping Samus of all her gear and forcing her to find it all again. Im thinking we cast Emily Blunt as our leading lady - she more than proved shes got the action heroine chops in Edge of Tomorrow. Why has no-one done this yet? This movie would be fantastic.
David R's playing with fire with a new Super Mario Bros idea
Super Mario Bros. seems like a no-brainer for the film treatment, right? Well, it would be, had we not gotten the Blade Runner-inspired nightmare back in the early 90's. But put that celluloid travesty out of mind, because a Super Mario Bros. film could be truly fantastic if they do one important thing: make it an animated film.
The bizarre world of the Mushroom Kingdom, with its Goombas and Koopa Troopas and Fire Flowers, doesn't really translate all that well to the real world - so don't even bother. Imagine a Super Mario flick handled by Pixar or Dreamworks, with lush, beautifully animated CGI breathing life into the series' vibrant environments. Super Mario 3D World already looked like a moving picture, so just do that, but in movie form. And don't over-think the script; just let Mario and friends go on adventures and do battle against Bowser and his cronies. Simple.
