Gaming's dirtiest words

Microsoft
Depending on allegiance, either the saviour of gaming (Xbox fans), the nonsense-headed tyrant of gaming (PC gamers) or an object of uncontrollable fury (Sony fans).

"Microsoft? Didn't they invent the Blue Screen of Death?"

Microtransaction
Method of extracting money from gamers -either through downloadable content, buyable game items orcheats- akin to the habit of schoolyard bullies holding the smaller kids upside down by their feet and shaking them vigorously to release loose change. [Alternatively: Nickle and diming]

"Making me pay to unlock a character already in my game is one microtransaction too far!"

Movie Tie-In
A term invoking two opposing reactions - shudders and pre-emptive kickings from gaming fans and journalists, but madly spinning money signs in the eyes of the grinning money men.

"And we expect the Man Eating Cactus movie tie-in videogame to synergistically launch with the movie, maximising customer provocation at the market coalface"

Nintendo
The only remaining global corporation that still manages to lose Europe under a bit of rogue paperwork when drawing up release schedules, only to 'discover' the major consumer market in time to release last year's titles this year.

"I swear Nintendo has forgotten Europe actually exists. Who makes their maps?"

Port
What happens when a publisher realises that three different consoles means three times the revenue. Usually employed in cynical conversation to refer to inevitable upcoming Wii version of best-selling Xbox 360 game complete with rush-developed motion control features.

"So do we port Super Next Generation Shooter to the Wii and target the casual audience, Tristan?"
"Do bears shit in the woods, Tarquin?"

Ben Richardson is a former Staff Writer for Official PlayStation 2 magazine and a former Content Editor of 12DOVE. In the years since Ben left GR, he has worked as a columnist, communications officer, charity coach, and podcast host – but we still look back to his news stories from time to time, they are a window into a different era of video games.