There's a free version of The Oregon Trail where you start out with dysentery and have to make it across the country without pooping your pants

a screen from a variation of the oregon trail where you start with non-lethal dysentery
(Image credit: Woe Industries)

The Oregon Trail is a 1971 video game that is infamous for its difficulty and the likelihood your character will die of dysentery. Now, a browser version is out that gives you the stomach sickness right from the start, and the new challenge is managing it while out on the trail.

You Have Not Died of Dysentery is a hilarious take on the original game complete with pixel art and 8-bit music. Hygiene standards weren't very good back in the old days, so you get dysentery before you even set off on the trail. You have to stock up on clothes, food, ammo, Oxen, and toilet paper before setting off if you've got any chance of not pooping yourself to death.

Once on the trail, you'll have to stop every few miles to relieve yourself. When you do, there's a lovely view of the pixelated landscape for you to marvel at. You may have dysentery, but at least the country you're trekking through is beautiful.

The warnings that pop up on screen are hilarious. "Feels like a bunch of ducks having a fit down there," reads one. "There's some real thunderation happening down there," states another.

On top of that, everyone you meet remarks on how ill you look and how terrible you smell. It seems that even if you pull over for a number two as often as the game will allow you and keep well-supplied with toilet paper, you just can't keep fully clean.

For a free-to-play browser game it's a great time, and I'd recommend giving it a go to experience a reimagined slice of one of the most famous games of all time. There's also a variation of the game in American Truck Simulator that turns the peaceful driving sim into a horror game.

Or, check out our list of the best retro games of all time.

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Issy van der Velde
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I'm Issy, a freelancer who you'll now occasionally see over here covering news on GamesRadar. I've always had a passion for playing games, but I learned how to write about them while doing my Film and TV degrees at the University of Warwick and contributing to the student paper, The Boar. After university I worked at TheGamer before heading up the news section at Dot Esports. Now you'll find me freelancing for Rolling Stone, NME, Inverse, and many more places. I love all things horror, narrative-driven, and indie, and I mainly play on my PS5. I'm currently clearing my backlog and loving Dishonored 2.

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