Games summed up in 5 words
94 of the shortest reviews you'll ever read
The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass: Stylus for everything? Surprisingly fun.
Bomberman: Trapped in a corner. F**k.
Street Fighter: The Movie: Why is Guile Belgian again?
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed: Never trust a Sith Lord.
Condemned: FBI agent beats up hobos.
Tomb Raider: Find treasure, shoot monsters, grunt.
E.T.: Rectangular alien falls into holes.
Sign up to the 12DOVE Newsletter
Weekly digests, tales from the communities you love, and more
Above: FLOAT YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH
Prince of Persia: Warrior Within: Godsmack, brooding ruin charming franchise.
Pro Wrestling: A winner is Great Puma!
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas: The one with the jetpack.
Sonic the Hedgehog 2: Why won’t Tails stay dead?
Bionic Commando (remake): The arm is his wife!
Above: This joke will never get old
Left 4 Dead: What is that OH GOD
Half-Life: Nerd with crowbar smashes aliens.
BioShock 2: Underwater junkies hate drill hand.
Bejeweled: Red, green, yellow... five hours!?!?
Okami: Why didn’t you buy it?
Above: Whyyy
Ducktales: We’re going to the moooooon!
Peggle: Ode to Joy; effing unicorn!
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2: What the hell just happened?
Plants vs Zombies: The best kind of gardening
Genji: Days of the Blade: Giant enemy crabs; massive damage!
Ms. Pac-man: God, I hate thin people
Fallout 3: Wait, the president's a WHAT?
Gran Turisimo: You have to brake, moron.
Battletoads: Turbo Tunnel sure is fun!
Above: NO
Ninja Gaiden (NES): Hawks are deadlier that rockets.
Aero Fighters 2: Dolphin flies a fighter jet.
Twisted Metal: Your average LA drive-time commute.
Killer7: Awesome idea confined to rails.
Phoenix Wright: Anime lawyers pound tables; “OBJECTION!”
God Hand: Glowing super arm spanks women.
Conker's Bad Fur Day: Mom made a huge mistake.
Max Payne: Dead family means bullet time.
Portal: The cake is a lie.
Above: OR IS IT!?
Got some of your own? Share them with the world in the comments below.
Mar 11, 2010