GRAND THEFT AUTO
URL: http://www.rockstargames.com/gta/
For whatever reason, Rockstar has a tradition of keeping its old sites alive and never updating them, so its website is like a tiny, GTA-themed WayBack Machine. The site for the original Grand Theft Auto looks like a graphic design student’s Angelfire site, and boasts an “8 bit demo, a 24 bit demo and a 3DFX demo.” Awesome!
Above: 3-D text is rad!
The site also features a photo of Keith Hamilton, GTA’s director, which proclaims that he’s “Super Hardcore!” Oh Rockstar, you were not always rock stars. The image is supposed to link to an audio file of Keith rapping about the game, but the file is in RealPlayer format...yeah, RealPlayer. So we installed goddam RealPlayer (“NO I DO NOT WANT A TOOLBAR IN MY BROWSER”) and tried to play it, but the actual streaming audio file seems to be missing. What a shame! Rockstar, we demand that you come forward with this file!
Above: GIFs of explosions are also rad!
BUSHIDO BLADE
URL: http://na.square-enix.com/games/bushido/
Wow, this is old…so old that it’s good, because there’s no animated intro or irritating sound effects every time you mouse over a link. Bushido Blade was actually a kind of awesome PS1 fighting game – one of the first with roam-able 3D environments and a realistic, one-hit-kill sword fighting system. Granted, it looked like crap, and the character art may have well been drawn by a 10th grader.
Above: Gotta love a lady with puke-blond hair and eyebrows that could emphasize long words
DISGAEA 2
URL: http://disgaea.us/d2
Apparently “what’s new” is a trailer released in 2006. They couldn’t even be bothered to put up screens with English subtitles (“Screenshots may not reflect final product”), and the section on the Disgaea anime takes twenty seconds to load a “Coming Soon!” graphic. We can tell that they put a lot of effort into this site.
Above: More Flash for you to get tired of!
Drop the “/d2” from the URL, however, and you’re at the main Disgaea page, which has actually been updated this year. So clearly they’re maintaining their web presence, but apparently haven’t found the time in the last three years to at least note on the Disgaea 2 page that, well, the game is out.
MIDWAY ARCADE TREASURES 2
URL: http://arcade.midway.com/
There have been several iterations of Midway Arcade Treasures. We tried to find the official site of the first game, which was released in 2003, but instead we were directed to a site which seemed to be a catchall for the whole series as it was just “arcade.midway.com.” And we found this:
Above: How do you made internets?
