Card Sharks
1987
WHAT IS IT?
High Low meets Family Feud, in this understandably forgotten game where the cards are just as incidental as sharks.
AT A GOOGLE IMAGE GLANCE
First result: A promo for the 1980s Games Show on which the game is based.
OUR BETTER, LITERAL INTERPRETATION
Fire Shark
1990
WHAT IS IT?
Yet another top-down shooter set in WWII, only this time the South Pacific is your playground and your biplane comes equipped with of-the-era lasers!
AT A GOOGLE IMAGE GLANCE
In the market for an ugly, high-end laptop? Well, march your ass down to your closest Montgomery Ward, slap a couple grand down on the counter, and scream to the nearest clerk, “Gimme the Toshiba Qosimo X300 Fire Shark, bitch!”
OUR BETTER, LITERAL INTERPRETATION
DCS: Black Shark
2009
WHAT IS IT?
Alas, nowhere in Black Shark’s 488 page manual will you find a single mention of the creatures of the deep from which they stole the name. The first iteration of the Digital Combat Simulation series doesn’t feature sharks, but compensates by painting teeth on a helicopter.
AT A GOOGLE IMAGE GLANCE
Above: The saddest shark cosplay the world will ever see
OUR BETTER, LITERAL INTERPRETATION
Above: Is there any problem Yu-Gi-Oh! can’t solve?
