Boat Trip review

You thought Cuba Gooding Jr's career couldn't sink any lower? Then walk the plank of this cringe-inducing comedy, best described as The Birdcage meets The Love Boat meets a huge pile of shit.

A lovesick Cuba boards a luxury liner with lascivious pal Horatio Sanz (Road Trip's toast-defiling fatso), unaware that it's actually a gay cruise. The pair then spend most of the movie fleeing from ageing fruit Lloyd (Roger Moore, doing a good impression of the Cuprinol Man), though Gooding Jr does find time to go after dance instructor Roselyn Sanchez by camping it up (don't ask...). Which leaves Sanz to letch pathetically after the Swedish bikini team, conveniently picked up en route to boost the tit count.

Shamefully reinforcing every degrading gay stereotype and containing the usual quota of crass - not to mention tired - gross-out gags, Boat Trip will have you longing for an iceberg to loom right ahead. The sooner this wreck of a movie's buried at the bottom of the chilly brine, the better for all of us.