Absolutely the worst things to happen to Red Dead Redemption 2's horses so far
Danger everywhere. From fire to fighting, trains to cliffs: please, won't someone think of the horses?!
Now that Red Dead Redemption 2 has been out a little while, everyone's had time to play it, see what they can do, and oh my God look after your damn horses. Half of you can't go more than a few yards without some sort of tragic horse related accident.
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There's been a lot of unintentional horse punching, countless straight up crashes and neither the in-game cinematic camera, or physics, appears to be anyone's friends.
However, before we look any of that, I really really need to know what happened here...
By far the weirdest Red Dead Redemption 2 horse death out there
Theres something wrong with this horse #RDR2https://t.co/SEfyuSGImv pic.twitter.com/2WnRXdeeIfOctober 29, 2018
I've watched this clip over and over and I can't tell what's going on. The apparent mystery horse death from nowhere is one thing, but it's what happens next that's the real head scratcher.
People just can't help punching their horses
I accidentally punched my horse.#RDR2 is a 13/10 game. ✌️ pic.twitter.com/EnemMrO6rxOctober 27, 2018
It's clear that Red Dead Redemption 2's button mapping is taking a little time for people to adjust to. 'Get horse. Punch horse' seems a very common progression in the game. At least here there's some justice, as the horses very rarely let it go.
Red dead redemption 2 death by horse #Rockstargames #Rdr2 #Reddeadredemption2 #PS4sharehttps://t.co/DxGbnvqwNw pic.twitter.com/sxGPf07pUqOctober 28, 2018
Red Dead's cinematic camera really hates your horse
When cinematic mode goes wrong pic.twitter.com/F23PxHaMyeOctober 27, 2018
Rockstar loves its cinematic camera. The camera, however, hates everyone and everything. Especially horses. Anytime the game suggests you use it, some sort of horse death is not far off.
Switch to the cinematic camera they said #RedDeadRedemption2 pic.twitter.com/WQUNlsN821October 28, 2018
#RedDeadRedemption2 #XboxShare. So this is what happens in cinematic mode pmsl pic.twitter.com/1pOhSYd5kROctober 28, 2018
However, just straight up crashing hurts more horses than anything else
A lot of you have really poor judgment when it comes to jumping off mountains, galloping through dense forests at full speed or simply going around small things in the street. Fortunately, horses are quite bouncy so, traumatic as it can be, they usually survive. Usually.
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Got smashed by some horses #RDR2 #PS4share pic.twitter.com/WZtL0BOaaTOctober 27, 2018
Experienced Cowboy Man gonna show you how to ride a horse. #RDR2 pic.twitter.com/viacCZCCxsOctober 28, 2018
where that tree come from? #reddead #reddeadredemption2 #rdr2 #rockstar #horse #crash #fail #gaming #PS4 #PS4share pic.twitter.com/uRS2VXggQWOctober 27, 2018
I'm not proud of this decision, but I AM happy my horse trusted me enough to take the leap of faith. #RDR2 pic.twitter.com/P0gJ29H818October 29, 2018
Trains
Nothing is more dangerous and unpredictable than a train: following a fixed track in a straight line, on a regular timetable. How can can anyone know what it does next?
Wow those 100 hour work weeks really paid off pic.twitter.com/ZV9qEC0G5hOctober 27, 2018
Take good care of your horse #rdr2 pic.twitter.com/dzzan8sdMXOctober 28, 2018
Then of course there's the just plain weird stuff
This horse just evaporated lol. #RDR2 #PS4sharehttps://t.co/iwouvlkxfi pic.twitter.com/dsse2kjNrkOctober 28, 2018
Sometimes, horses just disappear, get into buildings or start performing yoga. It's perfectly fine, and normal horse service will be resumed as soon as possible.
I seem to have encountered a problem with my horse #RDR2 #PS4sharehttps://t.co/6OlM0W5LHM pic.twitter.com/UHdeMViAmNOctober 29, 2018
Magic Horse #RDR2 #PS4share pic.twitter.com/8PMrfqJ6ErOctober 29, 2018
Want to know how to ride around the West quickly? Here's how to unlock Red Dead Redemption 2 fast travel as quickly as possible.
I'm GamesRadar's Managing Editor for guides, which means I run GamesRadar's guides and tips content. I also write reviews, previews and features, largely about horror, action adventure, FPS and open world games. I previously worked on Kotaku, and the Official PlayStation Magazine and website.