8 possible but mostly not probable explanations as to why Gears of War's Locust Queen looks human

It's been a while since I finished Gears of War 3. I liked it and everything but I was majorly bummed that it never revealed why the Locust Queen looks like a human. It was one thing that I really wanted to know. Needed to know. How the hell could developer Epic be so cruel and leave a loose end hanging like that? It's a question that still burns me like a urinary infection.

So in the absence of actual official canon clarification (or anything better to do), I thought I would knock together a few possible but not all entirely probable explanations as to why Gears of War's Locust Queen looks like a human and nothing at all like a Locust. Here we go.

Note: This is all speculation. Half of it is a bit serious. The other half is mostly nonsense. Which is what speculation is really.

1. She's a human woman that applied for the job

As a frustrated housewife, she was looking for a way out of the daily grind and spotted a vacancy for 'monarch of subterranean species' posted at www.jacinto-jobs.com. As the only applicant, she was promptly offered the position, along with a very reasonable starting salary and attractive dental plan. Having recently been embroiled in a bitter financial dispute with her orthodontist, she jumped at the chance. Her teeth have never been better.

2. She's a human test subject that went wrong/right

Remember that creepy bit in Gears 2 when Delta Team explores the abandoned New Hope Research Facility? Yeah, there was definitely some weird shit going on in that place before it was decommissioned. Documents from the facility mention fairly dubious sounding experiments involving human test subjects.

What happened to those unfortunate lab rats? Nobody knows. They were taken to the mountainous Mount Kadar region and none of them were ever heard from again. Maybe these 'experiments' eventually evolved into the Locust? Or perhaps one of the subjects was found and raised by the Locust and she eventually became their Queen. A bit like Tarzan but with less monkeys and stampeding elephants.

3. She's actually Doctor Chakwas from Mass Effect

Because she actually is. Or, at least, both characters are voiced by the same person - Carolyn Seymour. So maybe it's a genius cross-promotional brandmogrification marketing exercise in which the Mass Effect and Gears of War universes collide and Dr Chakwas reveals herself to be the Locust Queen. Also, the Citadel turns out to be Marcus Fenix's left arm.

4. She's a Locust but has had some 'work' done

The Locust Queen is a Locust, but has undergone extensive aesthetic facial surgery and body restructuring work. Because she's worth it.

5. She is actually Marcus Fenix's mum

What is going on with Adam Fenix and the Locust Queen? There is definitely an implied personal connection between the two of them. It's no wonder people have started gossiping. Could old man Fenix and Myrrah done the sexy and made Marcus? It's a video game, so literally anything is possible. But personally I don't think so.

Marcus has a mum. She's called Elain. This is well documented. For the Marcus mum theory to work, Adam would of been having an affair with the Locust Queen behind Elain's back over two decades before Emergence Day happened. Even for a video game that's a stupid storyline and could only work if everyone was really, really stoned. But there is another possibility...

The fate of Elain Fenix isn't covered at any great length in the games, although in the novels it says that she died while doing research in the Hollow - the underground home of the Locust. Basically, if Epic wanted to fudge this with a 'oh she actually went missing and somehow became the Locust Queen' it could totally happen because it's their game and they can do whatever the hell they want and you can't do anything about it so shut up.

6. Because it gives her an intriguing story that can be monetised with additional spin-off content

It was carefully and very cleverly planned by Gears developer Epic from the very start that the Locust Queen's story would remain untold throughout the trilogy. The answers revealing why she looks human reserved instead for future DLC (perhaps next month's 'RAAM's Shadow' add-on will reveal something?) or more Gears of War games or an expanded universe novel or as part of a cross-promotional deal with Subway that involves the Locust Queen appearing on a TV commercial saying something stupid like: "I must be human because Subway's delicious Meatball Marinara is my favourite type of grub!"

7. She's a shape-shifter

I only came up with this theory because the Locust Queen's name - Myrrah - reminds me of the word 'mirror'. So logically that led me to surmise that she has shifted her shape to reflect the image of a human being. Like a mirror. I also suspect that in a previous life I was a cunning detective.

8. It's because, like, no big mystery, that's just how she was designed, man

Admittedly this idea is pretty out there, but just imagine this scenario for a minute. When designing the Locust Queen, Epic ran through a whole bunch of concepts and eventually decided that the human-looking Locust Queen was the one that looked the best. The easiest on the eye. A bit sexy even. What was the alternative - a Berserker with a crown and sceptre? No big mystery. Just a design decision. Pure and simple.

The following is an extract of a conversation that might of happened in the Epic office during the Locust Queen design meeting:

Cliffy B: "Cool. So that's the Locust Queen sorted. Let's drink beer."

Epic intern: "Yeah, but how are we going to explain why she looks human?"

Cliffy B: "Relax bro, it's not a problem."

Epic intern: "Yeah, but..."

Cliffy B: *pushes big red button* *intern falls into shark-infested pool* *is ripped apart by sharks*

So that's what I've got. Anyone care to offer any other possible explanations as to why the leader of the big ugly living underground Locust looks like a pretty sexy human woman? Please stuff the section below with your thoughts and comments.

CATEGORIES
Matt Cundy
I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.