Jules Winnfield
Thanks to a winning script from Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary, Pulp Fiction is fizzing with memorable characters.
But we say forget the years-long rumblings about Vega Brothers films – let’s gives Jules Winnfield a movie of his own!
Given that the role fit Sam Jackson like a well-tailored suit, we could easily see Jules heading out, Littlest Hobo-style, to sort out problems with Bible passages and gunplay before moving on.
If QT’s too busy to make it, let Avary write the script and have someone else direct it, with producing oversight by the man himself.
Officer Slater/Officer Michaels
Or, as you likely know ‘em, the cops from Superbad.
Played by co-writer Seth Rogen and SNL regular Bill Hader, this pair of dysfunctional law keepers was one of the highlights of an already funny film.
We’d be happy to follow them on one other crazy night around LA as they booze up, rough up perps and end up in one almighty crapload of trouble.
Hell, Rogen liked them so much, he considered giving them a spin-off, but has now gotten too busy with his Green Hornets and his Film Star Career.
They’ll be waiting, Seth…
Banky Edwards
Chasing Amy’s bitter, cynical slacker was Jason Lee’s second time working with Kevin Smith and still among his best performances.
The smart-mouthed, sex-obsessed comic book inks comics (he’s no tracer) drawn by pal Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) but the pair eventually fall out over Holden’s love for the bisexual Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams).
There’s a rich world of warped worldviews to be explored in a Banky film – even if he’d probably not be to everyone’s tastes.
Still, Jason Lee’s TV comedy M Name Is Earl just got cancelled, so he’s likely available…
Brian Fantana
Paul Rudd is a comedy god: we’ll brook no argument about that.
He took one of the least memorable (on paper) of the Anchorman characters and turned him into a fully realised sleaze ball and wannabe lothario.
Fantana’s a delusional lover man who goes so far as to name his genitals – there’s obviously a whole back story to explore there.
We would, of course, demand cameos from the likes of Steve Carell’s Brick Tamland, but Fantana’s man enough to carry his own pic.
At least while we wait for Will Ferrell and Adam McKay to bring us Anchorman 2.
Kirk Lazarus
There are several characters who could conceivably get their own film off the back of Tropic Thunder – we’ve previously spotlighted Tom Cruise’s Les Grossman as a scene-stealer.
But Robert Downey Jr’s high-wire act of a method-obsessed thesp is one of those perfect blends of performer and role. Ben Stiller’s right: we’re not sure anyone else could have played him.
And having seen a tantalising glimpse at Lazarus’ other work in the fake trailer for Satan’s Alley that starts Thunder, we want more.
If the bland idiots of Entourage can spin five bleedin’ years of TV out of an actor’s life, Lazarus can fuel a film no trouble.
The Professor
Who he? He be Clive Owen’s near-silent, ruthless assassin character from The Bourne Identity.
And while we do worry that finding too much out about this mystery man would ruin his mystique, we’re pretty sure Owen could carry it off.
If a filmmaker was truly daring, they could even attempt a dialogue-free movie about the Prof’s other jobs, but we doubt any studio would cough up the cash to fund it.
Seymour
Steve Buscemi strikes back for cranky, bizarre, dressing gown-clad record collectors everywhere.
When he’s not on screen in Ghost World, the film feels a little less fun, even if that word doesn’t ever enter into Seymour’s vocabulary.
But try to picture the scene set in his apartment as the basis for a look at the man’s oddball existence.
He’s not your typical screen lead – yet he really deserves to be. Someone get Terry Zwigoff to sit down with Buscemi and Ghost World comic creator Daniel Clowes – there’s gold in that there character.
Christy Cummings
Jane Lynch is a tried and tested scene-grabber who usually manages to do more with a few minutes’ screen time than some actors pull off in their whole careers.
Christopher Guest clearly realises this, since she’s been in all of his films since her turn as Christy, the butch, lady-loving dog trainer who wins over Sherri Ann Cabot (the equally hilarious Jennifer Coolidge).
Together these two deserve to get their own film. Hell, we’d watch it even if it was Lynch and a few friends improvising without a script.
