Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)
In the red corner: Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant)
In the blue corner: Hugh Darcy (Colin Firth)
What happens? Love rivals Cleaver and Darcy engage in tentative fisticuffs to win the hand of our chardonnay-burping heroine. And all while It’s Raining Men blares in the background.
It’s frightfully middle class, very funny and a wincingly realistic account of what most fights actually look like. So good they crowbarred another one into the sequel.[page-break]
Borat (2006)
In the red corner: Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen)
In the blue corner: Azamat Bagatov (Ken Davitian)
What happens? There wasn’t a mankini in sight as Kazakhstan’s premier hick-baiting journalist had a nude wrestling match with his blubbery producer Azamat.
Scores points for beating Eastern Promises to the whole knacker-flashing fight thing and Sacha’s comically large censorial box.[page-break]
The Karate Kid (1984)
In the red corner: Daniel “San” LaRusso (Ralph Macchio)
In the blue corner: Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka)
What happens? Picture the scene. It’s the final battle against the evil blonde Cobra Kai kid. Our plucky hero Danny has been in training for months.
He’s cleaned cars, painted fences and completed other tedious chores Miagi has cannily called “training”. So what’s his winning move? A faintly ridiculous “Crane Kick” you wouldn’t see in a geriatric tai chi class. Oof.[page-break]
Step Brothers (2008)
In the red corner: Brennan Huff (Will Ferrell)
In the blue corner: Dale Doback (John C Reilly)
What happens? Will Ferrell’s prosthetic testicles – they cost $2000 don’t ya know – might have stole the show in this wonky manchild comedy but there’s a heck of a naff fight scene.
It’s manchild vs manchild as Dale and Brennan wildly swing golf clubs and even bikes at each other before their flummoxed folks hose them down.[page-break]
Pineapple Express (2008)
In the red corner: Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) and Saul Silver (James Franco)
In the blue corner: Red (Danny R. McBride)
What happens? The mellow, roach-twirling vibes dry up as the stoner comedy explodes into a bong-smashingly silly swirl of violence.
It’s got namby pamby face slapping, hair pulling, toilet water, improvised household weapons and Dale’s immortal cry: “He’s punching my bum!”[page-break]
Happy Gilmore (1996)
In the red corner: Happy Gilmore (Adam Sandler)
In the blue corner: Bob Barker (Himself)
What happens? Sandler’s latest bubbling ball of anger picks a fight with US game show relic Bob Barker on the golf course.
OK, their punch-swapping isn’t exactly all that girly but there’s something enjoyably daft about watching the then-73-year-old pummel young golf punk Gilmore. Grey power![page-break]
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
In the red corner: Austin Powers (Mike Myers)
In the blue corner: Mini Me (Verne Troyer)
What happens? Mike Myers’ spoofy British spy tussles with Dr Evil’s pint size clone in this space station battle.
Crotch biting, tickling and dirty tactics abound in a short scene that features more laughs than there are in all 91 arm-gnawingly bad minutes of The Love Guru.[page-break]
Monty Python And The Holy Grail (1975)
In the red corner: The Black Knight (John Cleese)
In the blue corner: King Arthur (Graham Chapman)
What happens? In the cinematic rabbit that pulled hit musical Spamalot out of the hat, Monty Python tackle the legend of the Black Knight.
Even after King Arthur has lopped off both his arms the armour-plated eejit is still up for a suitably silly kicking fight. ’Tis but a scratch. Have at you!
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