Matthew McConaughey is bringing his gurning Texan routine to cinemas this week with Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past, which got us thinking - which movie girls would we have to dump for being too rubbish? Turns out, it's not many...
Angelina Jolie as Fox in Wanted (2008)
Whose Girlfriend Is She?
Desk jockey and reluctant super-assassin Wesley Gibson.
Why She's Terrible
There’s an excellent chance she’ll use her bullet-curving gun skills to murder you right up.
Why We Don't Care
She's played by Angelina Jolie, and whether Angie's holding a shotgun or a vial that needs to be filled with our own human blood, we'd still marry her.
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Anna Paquin as Rogue in X-Men (2000)
Whose Girlfriend Is She?
Bobby Drake AKA Iceman
Why She's Terrible
Anything past base 0.5 (staring wistfully) is a strict no-no on the grounds that touching her is invariably fatal.
Why We Don't Care
Faithfulness would presumably be assured by the difficulty of corpse disposal, plus it’d be nice to have a girlfriend who could beat men up for you. Oh, and she’s hot.
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Jessica Biel as Lara in The Rules Of Attraction (2002)
Whose Girlfriend Is She?
Sean Bateman/Victor Johnson/everyone
Why She's Terrible
She’s a slutty, shallow nightmare (sample quote, on being told she looks skinny: “Skinny, really? Bulimic skinny or anorexic skinny?”)
Why We Don't Care
Because there’s a sensitive, loving person in there somewhere, struggling to get out. You know, probably. Plus most men would date fire if it looked like Jessica Biel.
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Natalie Portman as Jack’s girlfriend in Hotel Chevalier/The Darjeeling Limited (2007)
Whose Girlfriend Is She?
American recluse Jack Whitman.
Why She's Terrible
She’s heartbreakingly destructive and selfish, tracking down ruined ex Jack to his Paris hotel room and dumping a tangled emotional mess in his lap.
Why We Don't Care
Because she’s lithe, striking, continentally domineering and has incredible hair. These are all good reasons to ignore a sociopathic streak six miles long.
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Halle Berry as Leticia Musgrove in Monster's Ball (2001)
Whose Girlfriend Is She?
Prison guard and bigot Hank Grotowski.
Why She's Terrible
She’s an emotional dropped pudding – wife to an executed husband, mother to a gifted, obese, deceased son – and therefore not the chirpiest.
Why We Don't Care
Because she throws all her hurt and suffering into desperate and intense lovemaking. And needless to say, she’s super hot.
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Winona Ryder as Kim Boggs in Edward Scissorhands (1990)
Whose Girlfriend Is She?
Clipper-handed loner Edward Scissorhands
Why She's Terrible
She fails to protect the vulnerable Edward from the evils of the outside world. Not only do her actions lead directly to him retreating to his lonely castle, but she spends the rest of her life spreading gossip about him in the form of bedtime stories. Nasty.
Why We Don't Care
Nice as he was, Eddie was a little unusual , so banishment and perpetual loneliness are unlikely to result from any potential relationship. Plus, of course, hotness.
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Scarlett Johansson as Charlotte in Lost In Translation (2003)
Whose Girlfriend Is She?
Chirpy hipster photographer John.
Why She's Terrible
Having agreed to accompany her other half on a Japanese work trip she complains endlessly that he has to actually work , hates on his friends and has a sort of affair with an older guy.
Why We Don't Care
You had us at ‘Opening shot: pink pants.’
