50 Worst Kids Movies
They should go straight to their room
SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
The Movie: Four babies who communicate using highly clever ‘baby talk’ stumble onto a scheme by Jon Voight’s media mogul to kidnap kids.
Most Disturbing Detail: Sadly the last film to be directed by Bob Clark, who made the fantastic (and purposefully disturbing) 1974 Black Christmas .
Hoot (2006)
The Movie: When young Roy (Logan Lerman) moves to Florida, he decides to help fight to protect some endangered owls. All together now: ahhhhh.
Most Disturbing Detail: The fact that it’s not a hoot at all?
Santa With Muscles (1996)
The Movie: A so-called ‘family comedy’ starring Wrestling ace Hulk Hogan as a man who gets amnesia and starts to believe he’s Santa.
Most Disturbing Detail: Hulk Hogan’s bronzed chest bursting out of a Santa costume.
Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders (1996)
The Movie: Merlin opens up a shop in present day America, despite being a British legend. Most disturbing is the film’s tone, which switches from safe family fun to pretty graphic violence.
Most Disturbing Detail: It’s just really messed up. People dying, cats getting burnt alive, demonic toys…
The Magic Roundabout (2006)
The Movie: Brit CGI flick that pretty much destroyed a generation’s childhood memories. The plot followed Dougal, who goes on a mission to save Florence from ZeeBad.
Most Disturbing Detail: The subtle drug references.
Thomas And The Magic Railroad (2000)
The Movie: A mash-up of the original Thomas The Tank Engine series with the American show Shining Time Station . The result is an oddity that never manages to satisfy the audiences of both.
Most Disturbing Detail: Director Britt Allcroft says the film was taken out of her hands and butchered. We believe her.
The Sandlot 2 (2005)
The Movie: Young baseball fans have hilarious adventures in 1972, including having to retrieve a model rocket from Mr Mertle’s back garden, where a large dog lives.
Most Disturbing Detail: James Earle Jones is in it. Why, James, why ?!
Sign up for the Total Film Newsletter
Bringing all the latest movie news, features, and reviews to your inbox
3 Ninjas (1992)
The Movie: A martial arts comedy, infamous in cult circles as one of the worst films ever made. The plot follows three brothers who are taught martial arts by their grandpa.
Most Disturbing Detail: It somehow spawned three sequels.
Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny (1972)
The Movie: Santa calls on the help of some local kids when his sleigh gets caught in the sand of a Florida beach.
Most Disturbing Detail: The child actors - though the word ‘actor’ is perhaps too generous a label for them.
Shark Tale (2004)
The Movie: CGI animation starring Will Smith as a fish who claims he’s killed a shark. The only saving grace is a one-note joke in Martin Scorsese’s casting as a loan shark.
Most Disturbing Detail: Angelina Jolie as Lola. She puts Glee ’s Trouty Mouth to shame.
What’s the worst kids movie you’ve ever seen? Share it with us (if you really must) below…
Josh Winning has worn a lot of hats over the years. Contributing Editor at Total Film, writer for SFX, and senior film writer at the Radio Times. Josh has also penned a novel about mysteries and monsters, is the co-host of a movie podcast, and has a library of pretty phenomenal stories from visiting some of the biggest TV and film sets in the world. He would also like you to know that he "lives for cat videos..." Don't we all, Josh. Don't we all.
Sonic 3 director explains the thinking behind picking those new post-credits arrivals: "It's always 'which character is going to give us something new?'"
The Inside Out 2 panic attack scene is one of the best depictions of anxiety ever – and something Pixar director Kelsey Mann is incredibly proud of: "I couldn't be happier"