Since mankind first crawled from the primordial ooze, gamers have sought newer and more creative ways to express their love of video games through the subtle medium of haikus (it’s true – shut your mouth). Following in this spirit of literary expression, GamesRadar has unleashed the poet within to provide a more distinguished look into many of our favorite video games. Feel free to let these poetic contemplations inspire your own muse and share your haikus in the comments. Remember, the form is five beats, then seven, and then five again.
Street Fighter
Ryu
This isn't so bad.
Just jump the Hadouken and...
F$%&! Shoryuken...
Guy
Shadow warrior...
Bushinryu adepts know
Ninjas wear sneakers.
Cammy
The Killer Bee’s back
She still wears thong leotards
Thank you, God…thank you.
M. Bison
Shadaloo villain;
Astounding resilience.
Dead - not dead…what gives?
Vega
Spanish ninjutsu
Means I get steel claws; you don’t.
Bloody High Claw, bitch.
Guile
Impossible hair;
Theme goes with everything.
Eyebrows are for wimps.
Gen
Master assassin
Been dying since forever
Leukemia sucks.
Zangief
Oh shit; not again
Stay away stay away stay…
GODDAMN COMMAND GRAB!!!
Akuma
Demon warrior
Always killing M. Bison
Never seems to take.
Dhalsim
Stretchy Indian
The worst pacifist ever
Bitchin’ theme music.
Next Page: Halo, God of War, Demon’s Souls
