A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
The Movie Life Lesson: Having bad dreams which result in your death means that you also die in reality.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: It's quite the opposite in fact, as dream interpretation boffins frequently make reference to death in dreams referring to a rebirth, or the start of something new.
Nothing in there about a masked murderer in a gnatty old jumper. Cobblers.
(500) Days Of Summer (2009)
The Movie Life Lesson: If you decide to live in Los Angeles you’ll find a huge, beautifully decorated apartment that’s affordable. Even if you’re in a minimum wage job.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: There’s no way a secretary would be able to afford a flat like it in LA, where monthly rent is around the $3,000 mark.
If you supplemented your income with a second job, you might be able to scrape by, but there go your hip nights out in a swish wine bar discussing Ezra Pound.
Peter's Friends (1992)
The Movie Life Lesson: After a drunken night of epiphany and heartache, a single cup of coffee and a sing song will sober you up.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: One cup o’java isn’t going to undo the effects of the vast quantity of alcohol you’ve just imbibed. Accompanied with the raucous belting from your friends, you'd be about ready to submit to the porcelain god.
The Women (2008)
The Movie Life Lesson: When having a baby, you’ll look utterly glamourous. You’ll also be able to carry out multiple conversations with your friends at the same time.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: Labour is one of the most strenuous events a woman can go through, commonly lasting from between 24 and 48 hours, and strength is key.
There’s no way you’d want to endure the selfish whittering of your supposed friends.
Orphan (2009)
The Movie Life Lesson: Always be wary in the bathroom, as when you close the medicine cabinet an impending figure will all of a sudden appear behind you.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: Granted, the cabinet being open would preclude you from a visual confirmation of said person. But the human senses are not exclusive, they work in conjunction with each other so unless you’re hearing-impaired you’d spot the cheeky blighter.
The Butterfly Effect (2004)
The Movie Life Lesson: Re-reading old diaries is a dangerous way to pass a nostalgic afternoon, as you’ll soon be transported through time to those exact moments.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: A trip down memory lane reading about school crushes and the constant ennui of adolescence only ever results in sobbing and overeating.
Dead Man's Curve (1998)
The Movie Life Lesson: If you want to get an automatic A at university, just murder one of your dorm mates.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: Because this outdated myth is just that. A myth. Looks like you’re going to have to knuckle down, abandon the student's union and do some work.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
The Movie Life Lesson: Want to make an enigmatic, creepy exit? Wait for a large vehicle to go past without stopping and you’ll magically disappear.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: If you’re going to get on a bus, or hitch a ride with the trucker, the chosen mode of transport would need to come to a halt before you could board. Drivers are often adamant about that.
The Holiday (2006)
The Movie Life Lesson: Allowing handsome strangers into your abode will lead to romance.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: If a strange man turned up at your holiday home, you’d never allow them in and instead dial 999 hysterically while knocking back that Tanqueray you were saving for Christmas.
Valentines Day (2010)
The Movie Life Lesson: It’s never too late to tell someone you love them by making a crazy dash to the airport and spotting them just as they’re about to go through the gate.
Why It’s Impossible In Real Life: You’ve got to buy a ticket, which takes AGES, then you’ve got to queue for security, which takes even longer because you get patted down after refusing to go through the x-ray nudey scanner, and then depending on where your flight departs it has to be vaguely near to the person’s gate.
A phone call would have sufficed.
