22 Most Depressing Movie Couples
Relationships with a case of the blue valentines
Sleeping With The Enemy (1991)
The Couple: Laura and Martin Burney (Julia Roberts and Patrick Bergin).
The Issues: He's an abusive nutjob, who keeps coming after her even after she's faked her own death.
How To Fix The Relationship: This one's beyond repair. Probably best to kill the fucker.
Leaving Las Vegas (1996)
The Couple: Ben Sanderson (Nicolas Cage) and Sera (Elizabeth Shue).
The Issues: She's a Vegas hooker; he's the suicidal alcoholic intent on drinking himself to death. If nothing else, the amount he's spending on drink he won't be able to afford her soon.
How To Fix The Relationship: Hide the booze.
Atonement (2007)
The Couple: Cecilia Tallis (Keira Knightley) and Robbie Turner (James McAvoy).
The Issues: He's been mistakenly accused of rape by Cecilia's younger sister Briony (Saorse Ronan) and banged up in prison. Worse, when he's released, WWII has started and he's off to fight.
How To Fix The Relationship: Finding the real rapist might have been a start. Failing that, could they not afford a decent lawyer to point out the complete lack of evidence in the case?
Requiem For A Dream (2000)
The Couple: Boyfriend/girlfriend Harry Goldfarb (Jared Leto) and Marion Silver (Jennifer Connelly).
The Issues: Mutual heroin dependency drive both into desperate measures - Marion, prostitution; Harry, not bothering to sterilise the needles.
How To Fix The Relationship: 'Fix' probably isn't the best word in this context. We prescribe methadone.
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
The Couple: Take your pick. There's Ennis and Alma (Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams), Jack and Lureen (Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway)...oh, and Ennis and Jack.
The Issues: Re-read the above paragraph. The fellas are both married; unfortunately, the women are beards and they're really in love with each other.
How To Fix The Relationship: As someone once sang, 'go west, where the skies are blue.' San Francisco is a lot more gay friendly than Wyoming.
Raging Bull (1980)
The Couple: Boxer Jake LaMotta (Robert De Niro) and wife Vickie (Cathy Moriarty).
The Issues: In a word, jealousy. Jake can't look at another man without assuming he's being fucked by his wife.
How To Fix The Relationship: An anger management course is the best bet, although it would inevitably require a change of career when Jake turned from bull to pussycat in the ring.
Vertigo (1958)
The Couple: Scottie Ferguson (James Stewart) and Judy Barton (Kim Novak).
The Issues: He's got major issues, since he's trying to turn Judy into a facsimile of her dead alter-ego Madeleine Elster. Trouble is [spoiler!] what he doesn't realise is that she is Madeleine, as part of a convoluted murder plot.
How To Fix The Relationship: A lot of weirdness and heartache could be avoided if she explained everything.
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William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet (1996)
The Couple: Romeo Montague (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Juliet Capulet (Claire Danes).
The Issues: He's a Montague. She's a Capulet. Seriously, you didn't study this in school?
How To Fix The Relationship: Their plan to run away is a sensible one. However, all those fussy details are asking for trouble. Fake suicide? Maybe not.
Jude (1996)
The Couple: Jude Fawley (Christopher Eccleston) and Sue Bridehead (Kate Winslet)
The Issues: They're cousins, coupled out of wedlock, living a transient lifestyle, with "too many" children. Sadly, something is about to give.
How To Fix The Relationship: In hindsight, the best solution might have been for Jude to send his eldest son to live with the boy's mother (Rachel Griffiths).
Revolutionary Road (2008)
The Couple: 1950s suburbanites Frank and April Wheeler (Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet)
The Issues: Leo and Kate are drawn to depressing romances like moths to a flame. Think Titanic was sad? Try this.
She wants to go to Paris, but he's just had a job offer and they're expecting another baby... cue affairs, one-night stands and ill-advised DIY medical procedures.
How To Fix The Relationship: Surely giving Paris a go has to be better than this, Frank?