2019 has its very own Shirtless Mario scandal, as Nintendo fans go mad trying to find Wario’s nipples
Wario has no nipples in Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020, and the internet can't handle it
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020, in addition to being far too much of a mouthful for any video game title, is out later this year, promising more crossover chaos as Sega and Nintendo's roster of characters compete in tandem with the real life games taking place in Japan over the month of November.
Recently, a new trailer dropped for the upcoming Switch game, and it's left both Nintendo and Sega fans reeling in a heady mix of confusion and awe, all thanks to a brief podium shot featuring both a topless Wario and Doctor Eggman waving at the crowd in all their half-naked glory, as seen below.
Mario and Sonic at the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games is gonna be wild. pic.twitter.com/B0eRQjs59DAugust 21, 2019
Naturally, I'm sure you'll agree that the image is like a three dimensional Salvador Dali painting, layered intricately with a tangible sense of mystery and miasma. For starters, Dr. Eggman look like an exact replica of shirtless Kylo Ren, and begs the question of whether we're about to finally find out what Sonic's feet look like, given that neither of the pair are wearing any shoes.
Then there's the question of Wario's nipples; most pertinently, where are they? Some eagle-eyed users think they've managed to spot them upon forensic inspection, but given that Nintendo famously bared Mario's nipples on full display in Super Mario Odyssey in 2017, one wonders why his arch nemesis (presumably of the same species, although definitely not human) is comparatively teat-free.
pic.twitter.com/LilVZ6CJpdAugust 21, 2019
There's also the fact that neither Wario nor Eggman's bellybutton are anywhere to be seen, which invites even further questions about their nature of origin. And let's not forget the fact that this basically confirms shirtless Waluigi is on the way, which is sure to send the Nintendo community into a entirely separate meltdown of its own.
As magnificent as this image is, we likely won't have any answers or opportunities for further study until Mario and Sonic at the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games is out in just three months time, so make a note in your calendar, stock up on some high-end binoculars, and get ready to delve deep into the biology of the Mario & Sonic-verse.
For more, check out the best Nintendo Switch games that you can play right now, or watch our Release Radar video below for a guide to everything else out this week.
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I'm GamesRadar's Features Writer, which makes me responsible for gracing the internet with as many of my words as possible, including reviews, previews, interviews, and more. Lucky internet!