2007: Play the news
Eight mildly amusing videogame ideas inspired by real life news
This is the news
Pity the poor tourists who boarded a cruise ship destined for the Antarctic last month - it struck an iceberg while traversing the Antarctic Ocean and sank in the freezing waters. Thankfully, all passengers on board were swiftly rescued before the liner slipped beneath the ice. But we have to admit wondering what an Antarctic Poseidon Adventure would work out like...
The game
COLD CRUISE
The blurb
"A once-in-a-lifetime cruise has turned into an end-of-your-lifetime disaster - the 1,000 berth SS IceMagnet has been holed by an iceberg and is slowly, inexorably slipping beneath the icy waters. From your quarters in the rear, can you work your way through the tipped vessel to the lifeboats at the bow? The heart-stopping water will pursue you through the trashed interior, as you battle through a world turned (almost) upside down. Survive and escape, or become a human icecube."
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The review
"While we've no doubt that desperately trying to escape from a similarly catastrophic event in real life would be a terrifically adrenaline-fuelled experience, it would also be pant-fillingly horrifying, and no doubt end in life-ruining - or life-ending - tragedy.
"Fortunately, Cold Cruise succeeds in turning what could be a dreadful incident into a series of ridiculous platform-hopping tasks, bearing no resemblance to the terrors that would ensue were such an unfortunate fate to befall us in reality. A triumph."
92.9%, EasyToPleaseGamers.com
The game
COLD CRUISE
The blurb
"A once-in-a-lifetime cruise has turned into an end-of-your-lifetime disaster - the 1,000 berth SS IceMagnet has been holed by an iceberg and is slowly, inexorably slipping beneath the icy waters. From your quarters in the rear, can you work your way through the tipped vessel to the lifeboats at the bow? The heart-stopping water will pursue you through the trashed interior, as you battle through a world turned (almost) upside down. Survive and escape, or become a human icecube."
The review
"While we've no doubt that desperately trying to escape from a similarly catastrophic event in real life would be a terrifically adrenaline-fuelled experience, it would also be pant-fillingly horrifying, and no doubt end in life-ruining - or life-ending - tragedy.
"Fortunately, Cold Cruise succeeds in turning what could be a dreadful incident into a series of ridiculous platform-hopping tasks, bearing no resemblance to the terrors that would ensue were such an unfortunate fate to befall us in reality. A triumph."
92.9%, EasyToPleaseGamers.com
Ben Richardson is a former Staff Writer for Official PlayStation 2 magazine and a former Content Editor of 12DOVE. In the years since Ben left GR, he has worked as a columnist, communications officer, charity coach, and podcast host – but we still look back to his news stories from time to time, they are a window into a different era of video games.