Mum & Dad (2008)
The Family: Where to start… Mum and Dad are a pair of sexually abusive psychotics who kidnap a young girl and force her to become part of their "family". So begins a seemingly never-ending parade of depravity, ranging from the tame (the family watching porn together over breakfast) to the stuff of nightmares (a crucifixion). Somebody call social services.
Most Dysfunctional Element: How about decapitating a snooping passerby and forcing their "daughter" to kiss the severed head? That dysfunctional enough for you?
How To Make Them Functional: Perhaps they should move house? Living under a flight path can do strange things to people…
Back To The Future (1985)
The Family: Given his miserable home life, it's a wonder young Marty McFly turned out as well as he did. His dad is a creepy, downtrodden loser, who allows himself to be pushed around by his boorish boss. Meanwhile his uncle is languishing in prison, while his dosed-up mum seems to have given up on life altogether. Bummer.
Most Dysfunctional Element: We have to go back in time for this one, to the point where Marty's mum starts lusting for her future son. To the therapist, and don't spare the horses!
How To Make Them Functional: Do you own a job lot of plutonium and a souped-up DeLorean, capable of time travel? Yes? Then this will be easy…
The Godfather (1972)
The Family: The Corleone clan prize family above all else… but only when things are going their way. When things aren't looking so rosy? Well, not even blood ties can save you from a bullet in the head. You have to question a man's priorities when he sits in a darkened room, arranging a series of dirty deeds on the day of his daughter's wedding. That said, his son turns out to be even more ruthless…
Most Dysfunctional Element: If your brother messes up, you might have a little fight. You might not speak for a while. There might be a frosty air at the Christmas dinner table. You probably wouldn't have him killed though. That's going a bit too far.
How To Make Them Functional: Disbanding the family business would probably be a good idea. Such an arrangement is often a source of tension… even more so when said business is organised crime.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
The Family: A middle-class cocktail of depression and resentment, the Tenenbaum family might be awash with privilege, but a stranger collection of screw-ups you'd be hard pushed to find. Much of their dysfunction can be traced back to the cavalier parenting skills of patriarch Royal, who's so detached from proceedings that he doesn't even know his daughter's middle name. For shame…
Most Dysfunctional Element: The bizarre relationship between siblings Richie and Margot, with the former harbouring a terrible obsession with the latter. Needless to say, their bond isn't particularly healthy for either of them.
How To Make Them Functional: Royal's death at the end of the film brings the family together at his funeral. Is that enough to set them back on the straight and narrow? Probably not, but it's the best we've got!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
The Family: A hideous collection of cackling hicks, Leatherface and chums are a truly nightmarish proposition. Even taking their predilection for murder and cannibalism out of the equation (a tricky ask, we know), the family dynamic itself is pretty weird. Why is one of the sons taking on the mother role, for example? It's just not right…
Most Dysfunctional Element: The family is presided over by a decrepit old patriarch, a figure so desiccated he can hardly lift a hammer. The fact that he takes charge over dinner might be normal, were there not a young girl tied up at the other end of the table.
How To Make Them Functional: Some new furniture might be a start. Preferably some that isn't made out of human body parts…
