15 Amazing Actors Who Must Never Be Bond
They're brilliant, but they need to stay away from 007...
George Clooney
Why He Could Do It:
He’s smooth, he’s charming, he looks good in a tux, he’s got more edge than Jaws’ dentures – and if you CGI some explosions and sharks into Ocean’s 11 , you’ve got a Bond flick.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Sorry George, you’re a brilliant actor, but you ruined the American Bond (Batman) so badly the franchise had to pretend it had never met you in order to survive.
Bond has already realistically rebooted once, it doesn't need to do it again.
Brad Pitt
Why He Could Do It:
Brad’s played spies before – remember Spy Game ? No? Mr & Mrs Smith ? There you go.
He’s also proven he can ‘master’ the British accent in The Devil’s Own and his ex-girlfriends are hotter than 007’s.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
He’s got blonde hair. And a blonde Bond simply wouldn’t work, ever. Never has, never will. Nope. No way. Not on our watch.
Tom Cruise
Why He Could Do It:
Let’s face it, Mission Impossible ’s Ethan Hunt is Bond by another name and Cruise has shown he can handle cars ( Days Of Thunder ), gadgets ( Minority Report ) and taming pussy ( Magnolia ).
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Bond’s catchphrase is ‘shaken, not stirred.’
It is not ‘you complete me.’
Matt Damon
Why He Could Do It:
You mean aside from the fact that Casino Royale homaged Damon’s spy series The Bourne Identity , a franchise spawned from a series of Bond-influenced books?
Hell, Jason Bourne wouldn’t even have to change the initials on his handkerchiefs!
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Sorry Matt, but you were in The Good Shepherd , which is officially the slowest spy film of all time.
Our boy doesn’t sit around staring at desks, he shoots them, with his gun.
Johnny Depp
Why He Could Do It:
Depp loves playing Brits, and if he could combine Jack Sparrow’s charisma with Sweeney Todd’s menace, he could be onto something.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Pirates aside, the last franchise Depp dipped his toe into was A Nightmare On Elm Street .
In Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare , Johnny insisted on being credited as Oprah Noodlemantra.
We do not want to read the headline ‘Oprah Noodlemantra is James Bond’ any time soon.
Sylvester Stallone
Why He Could Do It:
Stallone’s proved himself to be king of the franchise reboot, with successful Rocky and Rambo relaunches under his belt.
And we’re sure that if he tried hard enough, he could master the British accent. Maybe.
He can do serious ( Copland ), humorous ( The Specialist ) and action-packed ( Oscar ); everything a brilliant Bond needs!
Why He Would Be Wrong:
The last time Sly took on a British pop culture icon, he ruined Judge Dredd . Also, no.
Daniel Day Lewis
Why He Could Do It:
Daniel Day Lewis is the greatest actor of his generation; he can do whatever the hell he likes.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Day Lewis is incredible, don’t get us wrong, but we’re not sure the Bond franchise is ready for line delivery like: My NAME is BOND Jaaaaaaaaaames (long pause) BOND.
Also, during filming, Day Lewis stays in character, which would mean he’d have to do a lot of explaining to his wife / the police on his weekends off.
Leonardo DiCaprio
Why He Could Do It:
If Christopher Nolan does ever end up making a Bond film, it’ll probably look even more like Inception than Skyfall does.
If that happens, Chris might be tempted to hand Leo another tux / ski-set.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Leonardo DiCaprio’s real-life is already too Bond-like (a different model girlfriend every week, large collection of smart suits, predilection for throwing lobsters from yachts).
So if he actually got to be Bond, we’d probably be too jealous to go and watch it.
Jeremy Renner
Why He Could Do It:
He’s already managed to take over from another super-spy with his name on the franchise with relative ease.
And he was part of the biggest film of 2012, The Avengers . Honestly, he was! Go and watch it again, we’ll wait.
He played something called a Hawkeye. We’re pretty sure it’s some sort of clever bird.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Renner would get the action-stuff spot-on, but as his reduced role in The Avengers suggests, he might not be as good at the comedy / flirting aspects of the part.
Daniel Radcliffe
Why He Could Do It:
He’s carried a blockbuster series, and, as the producers of The Woman In Black discovered, he can add several million to your box office.
Also, he’s British.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Cinema audiences have watched Daniel grow up a film at a time since 2001.
We’re not sure we want to know what Bond looked like as a kid.
It’s why there’s never been a successful Young James Bond prequel series.
Oh, wait a minute…
Matt Smith
Why He Could Do It:
If James Bond is the premiere British film series, then Doctor Who is the TV equivalent.
But don’t take our word for it, here’s what Sam Mendes has to say on the subject:
"I mentioned the word in the press conference, 'regeneration' rather than 'evolving,'" said Mendes, describing the different actors to take on Bond.
”I feel it's like Doctor Who - there’s a geek answer - I was brought up on the idea of Doctor Who, who at the end of his final episode, he dissolves and a new actor pops up."
"He regenerates and it’s a whole other character: sometimes it’s an old man, sometimes it’s a young man, but he just changes. I’ve always loved that idea."
So, both have had multiple actors playing the title role, each bringing their own sensibilities to the part.
Matt Smith is the current – and some say the best – incarnation of The Doctor.
He’s the most recognised Time Lord in the United States.
So is it time for Smith to target his Tardis towards MI6?
Why He Would Be Wrong:
We’ll leave it up to Smith to answer this one: ”I don’t think I’m handsome enough. I think I’d make a quite good, young Bond villain.”
Matt Smith as a reboot Jaws, anyone?
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Why He Could Do It:
Following an amazing year in which he had significant roles in two of Total Film ’s favourite films of the summer ( The Dark Knight Rises , Looper ) it feels like JGL could do pretty much anything.
We might not every see him pulling on Batman’s bat-suit, but that doesn’t mean he can’t tug on Bond’s scuba-gear.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Whilst Gordon-Levitt seemed to enjoy the experience of making The Dark Knight Rises , he seems to struggle with the media focus – namely, being asked in every single interview if he’s the next Batman – that being a part of such a iconic franchise involves.
Bond would be almost exactly like that, only a billion times worse.
Martin Freeman
Why He Could Do It:
He’s already a household name in the UK thanks to his work in The Office . By the time The Hobbit trilogy wraps up, he’ll have the same status in the States.
And when Daniel Craig’s contract runs out, he’ll be the right age.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
We’re not sure if we’re ready for a Bond who looks directly at the camera and shrugs after one of Q’s latest inventions goes wrong.
Robert Downey Jr
Why He Could Do It:
Look at him. Just look at him. Tony Stark is essentially James Bond if James Bond developed an extreme attachment to one specific gadget. The drinking, the suits, the girls, it’s all there.
Also, charm and charisma are as essential to the Bond persona as cars and guns – and Downey Jr has a garage-full of both.
Why He Would Be Wrong:
Downey Jr is notorious for doing more improvising than line-learning, which may prove to be problematic when 007’s catchphrase becomes: “My name’s Jimmy Bond. Jimmy Bond. It’s kind of catchy. It’s got a nice ring to it.”
Also, we don't think the Fleming estate would be happy if Bond suddenly developed an affinity for cheeseburgers.
Robert Pattinson
Why He Could Do It:
Pattinson is young, handsome, British, and has an army of devoted fans who a) Aren’t Bond’s normal target audience and b) will buy a ticket to pretty much any film.
And he looks great in a suit – as proved by Cosmopolis .
Why He Would Be Wrong:
As much as we love R-Patz, he just carries too much baggage for the Bond franchise.
For every extra ticket they sell to a fangirl, they’ll lose another from a Bond connoisseur.
Sam Ashurst is a London-based film maker, journalist, and podcast host. He's the director of Frankenstein's Creature, A Little More Flesh + A Little More Flesh 2, and co-hosts the Arrow Podcast. His words have appeared on HuffPost, MSN, The Independent, Yahoo, Cosmopolitan, and many more, as well as of course for us here at 12DOVE.
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