The Wizard of Oz - Water
You remember this, right? In her tornado-coma, Kansas girl Dorothy tosses a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch of the West, who then begins to melt. It’s a pretty awful, protracted death too, as the witch just keeps screaming before finally dissolving away. It’s a good thing humans have evolved the ability to survive normal contact with what makes up most of our bodies and the surface of Earth.
Dead Alive - Lawnmower
Ignoring the basic fact that the lawnmower uses high-powered spinning blades to cut grass, using one to murder someone seems a bit difficult (you have to lift the machine, make sure you’re in close contact, etc.) However, when you’re facing a legion of zombies, the perfect gardening tool becomes the perfect slaughtering tool. In one long scene, the nerdy hero of this zom-rom-com makes sure no limbs are left intact while painting the walls of his Victorian home in viscera.
Any zombie movie - Teeth
Everyone knows you need teeth to eat food. But your chompers may be the least effective way to kill somebody. You need to be in close range, make sure you pin that person down and chew enough times to bleed the person out. To a zombie, it’s their primary death-enabler. Where zombies succeed though is by hunting in packs and by their dumbass prey bumbling around by themselves in the dark. If you’re dumb enough to wander away from a group of people in a zombie movie, you deserve to be snacked to death.
Mar 11, 2008
