41. If you come to a huge pile of junk blocking an alley, even though it looks easily climbable, don’t even bother. Obviously, this is the end of the universe.
42. Even though zombies are created by a virus, being bitten by one will never infect you. You may need to eat some commonly potted herbs to take care of the wound, though.
43. Wild animals are all extremely aggressive. When going into uncivilized areas, carry a gun and shoot everything that moves before it can attack you.
44. It’s pretty easy to kill twenty terrorists with your bare hands…
45. ...but forget about jumping over a two-foot sandbag.
46. Cops don’t care how many cars you smash into right in front of them, as long as it’s not theirs.
47. Cops don’t understand the concept of license plates. A fresh paint job will fool them every time.
48. Combined arms in war is not always the most effective strategy. Often massing a single type of unit is better.
49. An entire fortified outpost can be constructed in a matter of minutes, even directly in front of an enemy base and while under attack.
50. When establishing colonies in new lands, often the best approach is to train a few crack troops while scouting for potential threats, and then sending a small force to attack the closest town as quickly as possible. Be sure to order your troops to kill anyone carrying or building anything first.
51. A wooden stake is not, in fact, the weapon of choice when going up against vampires. A whip is.
52. If a person offers to pay you to go out and collect 20 widgets and then bring them back to him, it’s not a job, it’s entertainment.
53. Being a rock star doesn’t require creativity or talent, just dexterity and timing.
54. The spikier your hair, the more power you have.
55. Choosing one emotion and channeling it 24/7 counts as personality.
56. If your pseudo-philosophical babbling doesn’t appear effective in impressing someone, just pile on more jargon and bigger words. No one will notice.
57. Pausing for a long time between sentences isn’t awkward at all, and sounds totally natural, since everyone else does it.
58. Never trust the advice of someone helping you out of some dire situation via an earpiece or speaker system.
59. Every military, police, or Special Forces squad has one member that is smarter, more skilled, and harder to kill than the others.
60. Going through life-threatening experiences doesn’t just make you wiser, it also makes you stronger, faster, and increasingly impervious to harm.
